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I do the movies just for myself like an institutionalized person who basket-weaves. Busy fingers are happy fingers. I don't care about the films. I don't care if they're flushed down the toilet after I die.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Toilets
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Busy
Weaves
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Dies
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More quotes by Woody Allen

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90 per cent of success is turning up.
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The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.
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The film studios learned to our dismay but to their pleasure that if they spent $200 million making a film they could make half a billion on it. So they were not interested anymore in quality films... They can't afford to be that risky at those prices. Consequently you're getting a lot of remakes, sequels, dopey comedies full of toilet jokes...
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The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty.
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My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
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If you can delude yourself by believing that there is some kind of Santa Claus out there who is going to bail you out in the end, then it will help you get through. Even if you are proven wrong in the end, you would have had a better life than a non-believer.
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New York is my home and I have a particular fondness for it. I think it's a place where you can generate any kind of story wonderfully. But I also would be very happy to make a film in Paris or Rome.
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I've inherited the worst of each parent. I have my father's hypochondria and lack of concentration. I have his amorality. I have everything bad that he had. Then I have my mother's surly, pill-like, complaining, whining attitude.
Woody Allen
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The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily laying down.
Woody Allen
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One man starving puts a crimp in my evening.
Woody Allen
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I don't mind dying... as long as I don't have to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen
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Comedians have a tendency to have a limited range, they tend to do one thing and do it very well, but it's limited.
Woody Allen
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When I am in New York, I want to be in Europe, and when I am in Europe, I want to be in New York.
Woody Allen
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The content dictates the style all the time. That's the way it is. If the content of the film - as in Husbands and Wives - is highly jagged, neurotic, fast-paced, nervous New York film, it just called for that kind of shooting, editing and performance.
Woody Allen
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If I had my choice in life I would have had the gifts of Tennessee Williams or Eugene O'Neill. Unfortunately my gifts lie in comedy and so comedy comes fairly easy to me and I occasionally have an idea for a very serious piece and I do it, but the ideas don't come that readily to me.
Woody Allen
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Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.
Woody Allen
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And Nietzche, with his theory of eternal recurrence. He said that the life we lived we're going to live over again the exact same way for eternity. Great. That means I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.
Woody Allen
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I had an IQ test. The results came back negative.
Woody Allen
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Maybe the poets are right. Maybe love is the only answer.
Woody Allen
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If I could change the structure of existence I would do it. I could see a better way to live for everybody.
Woody Allen