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Between the Pope and air conditioning, I'd choose air conditioning.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Funny
Conditioning
Pope
Air
Choose
Humor

More quotes by Woody Allen

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I keep wondering if there is an afterlife, and if there is will they be able to break a twenty?
Woody Allen
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I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
Woody Allen
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Love may be the answer, but even though you're watching for the solution, intercourse raises some rather interesting thoughts.
Woody Allen
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The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.
Woody Allen
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I took a puff of the wrong cigarette at a fraternity dance once, and the cops had to get me, y'know. I broke two teeth trying to give a hickie to the Statue of Liberty.
Woody Allen
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A fast word about oral contraception. I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
Woody Allen
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Chastity is curable, if detected early.
Woody Allen
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My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Woody Allen
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Child molestation is a touchy subject... Read the papers! Half the country's doing it!
Woody Allen
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There have been times when I've thought about it - but with my luck it would probably turn out to be only a temporary solution.
Woody Allen
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She had been critical of his new torch song, A Side Order of Heartache, Please, suggesting it could be used as a good way to break in their new paper shredder.
Woody Allen
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The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty.
Woody Allen
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There's nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dart about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope.
Woody Allen
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Not think of death as an end, but think of it more as a very effective way of cutting down on your expenses.
Woody Allen
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Until you've been kissed on a rainy Parisian afternoon - you've never been kissed.
Woody Allen
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I never wanted to or expected to make a film outside of New York. New York became very, very expensive. The same $18 million spent in Barcelona or Rome goes much further there.
Woody Allen
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Let's say there was a burning building and you could rush in and you could save only one thing: either the last known copy of Shakespeare's plays or some anonymous human being. What would you do?
Woody Allen
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Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue.
Woody Allen
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Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
Woody Allen
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Doing abominations is against the law, particularly if the abominations are done while wearing a lobster bib.
Woody Allen