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Between the Pope and air conditioning, I'd choose air conditioning.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Air
Choose
Humor
Funny
Conditioning
Pope

More quotes by Woody Allen

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I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
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Relationships are really what interest me the most. And I think, in the end, they interest most people the most. Even when you read Tolstoy or something, basically they're about man and woman relationships.
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You know what my philosophy of life is? That it’s important to have some laughs, but you got to suffer a little too, because otherwise you miss the whole point to life.
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Heaven knows, we all make mistakes. That's life - and chess.
Woody Allen
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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
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Dying is like making love, except you don't get naseous afterwards.
Woody Allen
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Whosoever loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
Woody Allen
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I love the rain - it washes memories off the sidewalk of life.
Woody Allen
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If I can play a scene in a master shot, I always prefer it. And the actors always prefer it. It's fun to look at on the screen, the actors get a chance to sink their teeth into something substantial, and it's economically helpful.
Woody Allen
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Abysmal vermin that I am, I couldn't of course tell her that it was her incredible mother that I wanted to see again… I knew only as I drove through the cold, night autumn air that somewhere Freud, Sophocles and Eugene O’Neill were laughing.
Woody Allen
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I keep getting more and more ambitious. Over the years, to some degree, in some areas, I feel I've grown. In some areas, I made a fool of myself. In some areas, I think I can still do some funny things.
Woody Allen
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To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer. Not to love is to suffer.
Woody Allen
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I got a divorce because my ex-wife left me for another woman.
Woody Allen
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You mellow too much you ripen and rot.
Woody Allen
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I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
Woody Allen
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It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.
Woody Allen
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Have you ever taken a serious political stand on anything? Yeah. Sure. For twenty-four hours once I refused to eat grapes.
Woody Allen
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I want to return to the womb, anyone's.
Woody Allen
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I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
Woody Allen
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The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.
Woody Allen