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To me there’s no real difference between a fortune teller or a fortune cookie and any of the organized religions. They’re all equally valid or invalid, really. And equally helpful.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Fortune
Teller
Difference
Cookie
Humor
Valid
Differences
Cookies
Funny
Religions
Real
Helpful
Really
Equally
Organized
Invalid

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My brain? It's my second favorite organ!
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I prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.
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Chastity is curable, if detected early.
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I never ever see a film of mine after I release it to the public. I see it when I shoot it in my dailies and while I'm editing it, re-editing it and reshooting it and all that. By the time it's finished I never want to see it again.
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People think I'm an artist because my films lose money.
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I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you take two negative points?
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I don't like theatrical actors and actresses. I like people that talk like real human beings.
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Sex and death. Two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous.
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The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.
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For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath a pedestal.
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And Nietzche, with his theory of eternal recurrence. He said that the life we lived we're going to live over again the exact same way for eternity. Great. That means I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.
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Fantasy is seductive and much more wonderful than reality, but you can't take it to the bank. It's always an escape. And if used as an escape, as in attending a movie or a show for a circumscribed period of time, it's fine. When it starts to become undifferentiated from reality, it leads to big trouble.
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I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
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The only love that lasts is unrequited love.
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I don't believe in God. Just try getting a plumber on the weekend.
Woody Allen
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Am I my brother's keeper? Yes. Interestingly, in my case, I share that honor with the Prospect Park Zoo.
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My father owned a small piece of land. He carried it with him wherever he went.
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Reality may not be the best of all possible worlds, but it's still the only place where you can get a decent steak.
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There's something about my films they're informed by my sensibility. I have the same preoccupations, the same interests... there's just something in the nuance, and so you always know it's a film of mine whether I sign my name to it or not.
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I like broad comedy. If I had an idea tomorrow for a film that was all slapstick and broad comedy, and it was an idea that interested me, I would not hesitate to do it because I enjoy watching these kinds of film.
Woody Allen