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Showing up is 80 percent of life.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Showing
Percent
Life
More quotes by Woody Allen
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
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Life is a tragedy filled with suffering and despair and yet some people do manage to avoid jury duty.
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Some of the best memories of my childhood that I have are the times that I played hooky from school so I could spend my days in the public library reading all the wonderful books at my disposal.
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My grammy never gave gifts, you know. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.
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The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.
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It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.
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If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
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Life is like a concentration camp... you can't leave without dying.
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Between the Pope and air conditioning, I'd choose air conditioning.
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I'm afraid of the dark,and suspicious of the light.
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Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
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The only love that lasts is unrequited love.
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All my life is passing in front of my eyes. The worst part of it is I'm driving a used car.
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Some people think about sex all the time some people think of sex some of the time and some people never think about sex: they become lawyers.
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To you I'm an atheist to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
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Show business is dog eat dog. It's worse than dog eat dog. It's dog doesn't return dog's phone calls.
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Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!
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I don't like to meet the actor and have a lot of conferences and talk about their sub-life and their off-screen life and their back stories and all that nonsense, because it never means anything.
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Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
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This year I'm a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole?
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