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Showing up is 80 percent of life.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Life
Showing
Percent

More quotes by Woody Allen

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I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.
Woody Allen
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If I had my life to live over, I wish I could be a great pianist or something.
Woody Allen
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I always feel the cynicism is reality with maybe an alternate spelling or something because I feel that I have real perspective on this particular issue of punishment in society.
Woody Allen
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There's something about my films they're informed by my sensibility. I have the same preoccupations, the same interests... there's just something in the nuance, and so you always know it's a film of mine whether I sign my name to it or not.
Woody Allen
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The best things in life are censored.
Woody Allen
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In certain areas I don't function well and in other areas I function very well. I'm very good professionally. I have good discipline, I'm able to write every day and do films and not go six times over the budget. I mean I'm a coherent person, but I also don't like to go through tunnels when I travel. I'm claustrophobic.
Woody Allen
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I was walking through the woods, thinking about Christ. If He was a carpenter, I wondered what He charged for bookshelves.
Woody Allen
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Believing would be easier if God would show himself by depositing a million dollars in a Swiss bank account in my name
Woody Allen
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Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
Woody Allen
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I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
Woody Allen
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How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
Woody Allen
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I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
Woody Allen
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It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
Woody Allen
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[An audience conditioned by a lifetime of television-watching is so corrupted that] their standards have been systematically lowered over the years. These guys sit in front of their sets and the gamma rays eat the white cells of their brains out!
Woody Allen
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What' s the matter with me? Why can't I be cool?
Woody Allen
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Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
Woody Allen
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The film studios learned to our dismay but to their pleasure that if they spent $200 million making a film they could make half a billion on it. So they were not interested anymore in quality films... They can't afford to be that risky at those prices. Consequently you're getting a lot of remakes, sequels, dopey comedies full of toilet jokes...
Woody Allen
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Manute Bol is so skinny they save money on road trips. They just fax him from city to city.
Woody Allen
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I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.
Woody Allen
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If you don't have fun doing the film, then the results of the film will never give you any fun.
Woody Allen