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I recently turned 60. Practically a third of my life is over.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Thirds
Turned
Life
Practically
Recently
Birthday
Third

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Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.
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Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again. God - I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.
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Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
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I think there is too much wrong with the world to ever get too relaxed and happy. The more natural state, and the better one, I think, is one of some anxiety and tension over man's plight in this mysterious universe.
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There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?
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The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
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Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.
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Real software engineers don't debug programs, they verify correctness. This process doesn't necessarily involve execution of anything on a computer, except perhaps a Correctness Verification Aid package. Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
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I've had bad luck in my two previous marriages. The first wife left me, and the second did not. ­
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Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.
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You can be distracted by your love life, by the baseball game, movies, by the nonsense. Can I get my kid into this private school? Can I get this girl to go out with me Saturday night? Am I going to get the promotion in my office? All this stuff, but in the end the universe burns out. So I think it's completely meaningless.
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I'm afraid of the dark,and suspicious of the light.
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Life's hard, then you die.
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You know what my philosophy of life is? That it’s important to have some laughs, but you got to suffer a little too, because otherwise you miss the whole point to life.
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You know how you're always trying to get things to come out perfect in art because it's real difficult in life
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I have no regard for that kind of ceremony. I just don't think they know what they're doing. When you see who wins those things-or who doesn't win them-you can see how meaningless this Oscar thing is.
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My grandfather had a wonderful funeral... On the buffet table there was a replica of the deceased in potato salad.
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Our love, our love will last forever. It's forever but it just doesn't work. That's why it will always be romantic because it can not be complete.
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Usually, you hire people that you think are wonderful.
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He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
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