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I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I ripen and then rot.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Well
Mellow
Mean
Cocaine
Tendency
Respond
Tendencies
Drug
Funny
Wells
Ripen

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His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
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You mellow too much you ripen and rot.
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My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
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Ads answered out of desperation in the New York Review of Books proved equally futile as…the 'Bay Area Bisexual' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
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My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
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There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
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I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.
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You are always a comedian by default. You are this way because you've been forced to be this way, but it is better to be the hero. So if you can be a persona, the great one of my lifetime of course was and is Marlon Brando.
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If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
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By now they had mastered my own language, but they still made simple mistakes, like using 'hermeneutics,' when they meant 'heuristic'.
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Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
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This sounds so bleak when I say it, but we need some delusions to keep us going. And the people who successfully delude themselves seem happier than the people who can't.
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Boy, the food at this place is really terrible. The other one says, Yeah, I know and such small portions. Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.
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I can't understand why more people aren't bisexual. It would double your chances for a date on Saturday night.
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I've always been lucky in casting. The trick in casting is to hire great people, and let them do what they do, don't interfere with them too much. And then when they're great, take credit for it in the end.
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[...] I've come to the conclusion that the artist can not justify life or come up with a cogent reason as to why life is meaningful, but the artist can provide you with a cold glass of water on a hot day.
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Spencer was searching for a woman interested in gold, inorganic chemistry, outdoor sex and the music of Bach. In short, he was looking for himself, only female.
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My father owned a small piece of land. He carried it with him wherever he went.
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A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.
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Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
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