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Ninety percent of life is just showing up.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Life
Ninety
Showing
Percent
More quotes by Woody Allen
There are worse things than death. Many of them playing at a theater near you.
Woody Allen
I like filming in New York a lot myself, but London is accommodating to me the weather's very good there and the conditions for shooting and the financial conditions, the artistic conditions are good, so it's a pleasant place to shoot.
Woody Allen
I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
Woody Allen
What I do know about physics is that to a man standing on the shore, time passes quicker than to a man on a boat - especially if the man on the boat is with his wife.
Woody Allen
But what if everyone in the world behaved like me and came here and shot Brisseau through the ear? What a mess! And of course we'd need valet parking.
Woody Allen
Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.
Woody Allen
The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
Woody Allen
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
Woody Allen
It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.
Woody Allen
Heaven knows, we all make mistakes. That's life - and chess.
Woody Allen
The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. I think that the worst thing you could say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. After all, you know, there are worse things in life than death.
Woody Allen
Can you believe that? She says I'm not leader enough for her. Who was she looking for... Hitler?
Woody Allen
There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
Woody Allen
You always think another time would have been ideal for you . . . the reality is there was no novocaine when you went to the dentist.
Woody Allen
Basically I am a low-culture person. I prefer watching baseball with a beer and some meatballs.
Woody Allen
I never wanted to or expected to make a film outside of New York. New York became very, very expensive. The same $18 million spent in Barcelona or Rome goes much further there.
Woody Allen
If I could just hope to have a major talent, then I would rather have it in music than in any other field.
Woody Allen
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
Woody Allen
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
Woody Allen
My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
Woody Allen
