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She had been critical of his new torch song, A Side Order of Heartache, Please, suggesting it could be used as a good way to break in their new paper shredder.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Funny
Critical
Song
Criticism
Order
Paper
Shredder
Used
Please
Torch
Way
Humor
Torches
Good
Side
Heartache
Sides
Suggesting
Break
Critics

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I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
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I'm afraid of the dark,and suspicious of the light.
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The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.
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Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.
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Sex on Twitter can't hurt you - unless you fall off.
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Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable with the possible exception of a moose singing 'Embraceable You' in spats.
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The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
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When I'm writing something, if there's a part that's good for me, then I'll play it. Otherwise, I don't. And I notice that there are less and less parts for me in my own writing.
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Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
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I've inherited the worst of each parent. I have my father's hypochondria and lack of concentration. I have his amorality. I have everything bad that he had. Then I have my mother's surly, pill-like, complaining, whining attitude.
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By now they had mastered my own language, but they still made simple mistakes, like using 'hermeneutics,' when they meant 'heuristic'.
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I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
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Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge. Others only gargle.
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Have you ever taken a serious political stand on anything? Yeah. Sure. For twenty-four hours once I refused to eat grapes.
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I hope you're getting this down.
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My success has allowed me to strike out with a higher class of women.
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Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
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Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could not blink my eyes in unison. — If The Impressionists Had Been Dentists
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There's nothing wrong with you that a little Prozac and a polo mallet can't cure.
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If I could only see one miracle, just one miracle. Like a burning bush, or the seas part, or my uncle Sasha pick up a check.
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