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She had been critical of his new torch song, A Side Order of Heartache, Please, suggesting it could be used as a good way to break in their new paper shredder.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Order
Paper
Shredder
Used
Please
Torch
Way
Humor
Torches
Good
Side
Heartache
Sides
Suggesting
Break
Critics
Funny
Critical
Song
Criticism

More quotes by Woody Allen

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Science is an intellectual dead end, you know? It's a lot of little guys in tweed suits cutting up frogs on foundation grants.
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Sex is better than talk. Ask anybody in this bar. Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.
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If man were immortal, do you realize what his meat bills would be?
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It's important to control yourself because life gets too complicated if you don't, but the impulse is often there for people. Some say society should be more open. That doesn't work either.
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For me personally - because I do it myself - the scoring of a picture is fun. I edit the picture and when I've finished I go into my room and I have many many records - jazz, classical and popular music. And I have this all at my disposal. I don't have to get a composer.
Woody Allen
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Every time you make a movie it's a new and different experience. You learn very little from the past. So, I'm a little bit better than I was when I first started.
Woody Allen
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For God sakes, this is a woman I was married to for 10 years. We made love. I'd hold her head over the toilet bowl when she threw up.
Woody Allen
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If the world is a progressively realized community of interpretation, then either quadruplictity will drink procrastination or, provided that the nothing negates, boredom will ensue seldom more often than frequently.
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You can't ride two horses with one behind.
Woody Allen
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I can't minimize the terror factor. As you get older you get more and more frightened because the terrible indignities of old age become closer to you.
Woody Allen
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My grandfather was a very insignificant man, actually. At his funeral his hearse followed the other cars.
Woody Allen
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I prefer the magic to reality, and have since I was 5 years old. Hopefully, I can continue to make films and constantly escape into them.
Woody Allen
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Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
Woody Allen
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I didn't believe in reincarnation in my past life, and I still don't.
Woody Allen
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Sylvia Plath. Interesting poetess whose tragic suicide was misinterpreted as romantic by the college-girl mentality.
Woody Allen
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I don't want to be immortal through my works. I want to be immortal by not dying.
Woody Allen
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God, you Jews are truly exotic. Exotic? She should only know the Greenblatts. Or Mr. and Mrs. Milton Sharpstein, my father's friends. Or for that matter, my cousin Tovah. Exotic? I mean, they're nice, but hardly exotic with their endless bickering over the best way to combat indigestion or how far back to sit from the television set.
Woody Allen
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The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5' 7, it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.
Woody Allen
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How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can-opener works.
Woody Allen
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I don't own a computer. I've never seen anything online at all - nothing. I don't own a word processor. I have none of that stuff. It's not an act of rebellion. I'm just not a gadget person.
Woody Allen