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My mother never had time for me. When you're the middle child in a family of five million, you don't get any attention.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Family
Mother
Children
Million
Never
Millions
Time
Middle
Child
Five
Attention
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Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.
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All the crap they tell you about... getting joy and having a kind of wisdom in your golden years - it's all tripe.
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If you take a frown and turn it upside down, the person you are holding by the ankles will soon pass out.
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Life is a tragedy filled with suffering and despair and yet some people do manage to avoid jury duty.
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It's hard for me to know. I'll think, 'I really brought off my ideas, it's great,' and no one sparks to it
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If you're not failing, you're not trying anything.
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The best things in life are censored.
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When you write the script, you're home in a room by yourself, and you're writing, and there's no connection with the real performing world. So you get a lot of things wrong and make a lot of mistakes and make a lot of bad choices.
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Raised by two mothers...wow, most of us barely survive one
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I'm generally not a social dramatist or comedy writer. My interests have always been more in psychological stories or personal relations and comic ideas.
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All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.
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In every generation there are a few people who are authentically funny. The cosmetics change. You may not be able to articulate it, and you may laugh at them and get a certain amount of enjoyment. But when you're asleep at night, and you wake up at 3 in the morning, and you're alone in your bed, you know who's really funny.
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Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.
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Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
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I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.
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A general philosophy of the female characters in my films is they all want something to believe in, and not having anything.
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Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.
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The history of the world is like: He kills me, I kill him, only with different cosmetics and different castings. So in 2001, some fanatics killed some Americans, and now some Americans are killing some Iraqis. And in my childhood, some Nazis killed Jews. And now, some Jewish people and some Palestinians are killing each other.
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