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When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Best
Honesty
Weight
Dieting
Love
Losing
Contain
Genius
Diets
Lose
Fats
Loses
Pounds
Humanity
Twenty
May
Twenties

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For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath a pedestal.
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Because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.
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I was the captain of the latent paranoid softball team. We used to play all the neurotics on sunday morning. Nailbiters against the bedwetters, and if you've never seen neurotics play softball, it's really funny. I used to steal second base, and feel guilty and go back.
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Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
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Life's hard, then you die.
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To me, movies are valuable as an art form and as a wonderful means of popular entertainment. But I think movies have gone terribly wrong.
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As a boy, I was ashamed to wear glasses. I memorized the eye chart, and then on the test they asked essay questions.
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Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
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As the author you know how you want it to appear on screen and it's always the content dictating the form.
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The film studios learned to our dismay but to their pleasure that if they spent $200 million making a film they could make half a billion on it. So they were not interested anymore in quality films... They can't afford to be that risky at those prices. Consequently you're getting a lot of remakes, sequels, dopey comedies full of toilet jokes...
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Talent is luck. The important thing in life is courage.
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Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
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The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
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In certain areas I don't function well and in other areas I function very well. I'm very good professionally. I have good discipline, I'm able to write every day and do films and not go six times over the budget. I mean I'm a coherent person, but I also don't like to go through tunnels when I travel. I'm claustrophobic.
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Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
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You'll find as you go through life that great depth and smoldering sensuality don't always win.
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Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful provided you get between the right man and the right woman.
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Standard mathematics has recently been rendered obsolete by the discovery that for years we have been writing the numeral five backward. This has led to reevaluation of counting as a method of getting from one to ten. Students are taught advanced concepts of Boolean algebra, and formerly unsolvable equations are dealt with by threats of reprisals.
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There's something about my films they're informed by my sensibility. I have the same preoccupations, the same interests... there's just something in the nuance, and so you always know it's a film of mine whether I sign my name to it or not.
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Where I grew up in Brooklyn, nobody committed suicide. Everyone was too unhappy.
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