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The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5' 7, it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Littles
Unresponsive
Government
Congressman
Little
Phone
Needs
Phones
Men
Congress
Humor
Impossible
Funny

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Have you ever noticed that good people sleep better, but bad people seem to have more fun when they're awake?
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By now they had mastered my own language, but they still made simple mistakes, like using 'hermeneutics,' when they meant 'heuristic'.
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Boy, the food at this place is really terrible. The other one says, Yeah, I know and such small portions. Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.
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I got a divorce because my ex-wife left me for another woman.
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How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
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Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
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Your still searching for me in every woman. You'll always seek to duplicate what we had. You know it.
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I always feel the cynicism is reality with maybe an alternate spelling or something because I feel that I have real perspective on this particular issue of punishment in society.
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When you work from city to city or country to country, you work the same way the working method is the same.
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Whosoever loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
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Take the money and run.
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How wrong Emily Dickinson was! Hope is not the thing with feathers. The thing with feathers has turned out to be my nephew. I must take him to a specialist in Zurich.
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The whole thrust of science and the medical profession is to try and prevent it from happening, to try to prolong life, to keep you from dying, to keep you from getting older, to rejuvenate you. I mean, that's everybody's wish. The fountain of youth is everybody's sought-after thing.
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I write the script nobody sees it, not the people that put the money in the picture. I cast who I want, and make the film. That's why I've always felt the only thing standing between me and greatness, is me. There's no excuse for me not to be great except that I'm not.
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Abysmal vermin that I am, I couldn't of course tell her that it was her incredible mother that I wanted to see again… I knew only as I drove through the cold, night autumn air that somewhere Freud, Sophocles and Eugene O’Neill were laughing.
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Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
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