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Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun either.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Mice
Fun
Either
Science
Hard
Think
Thinking
Life
Insects

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I can't with any conscience argue for New York with anyone. It's like Calcutta. But I love the city in an emotional, irrational way, like loving your mother or your father even though they're a drunk or a thief. I've loved the city my whole life - to me, it's like a great woman.
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See, I never gain an ounce, because, you know, my anxiety acts like aerobics.
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In 1940 I was just turning 5 years old and being taken to the movies. For those of us who were not old enough to understand the horror of war it was a very romantic era because these guys were kissing their wives and girlfriends goodbye and going off to fight and become heroes.
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Heaven knows, we all make mistakes. That's life - and chess.
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What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
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We knew the front door was always left open, but we broke in just to keep in practice. Doxy turned all the Washburn family photos to the wall so there wouldn't be any witnesses.
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My experience creatively is different than my experience in life, for, as my father would say, the simple reason that you can't get hurt when everything goes wrong creatively.
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My brain? It's my second favorite organ!
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I'm so excited-I think today I'm going to brush all my teeth.
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There's no way to prove that there is no God. You just have to take it on faith.
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I've inherited the worst of each parent. I have my father's hypochondria and lack of concentration. I have his amorality. I have everything bad that he had. Then I have my mother's surly, pill-like, complaining, whining attitude.
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I've always been lucky in casting. The trick in casting is to hire great people, and let them do what they do, don't interfere with them too much. And then when they're great, take credit for it in the end.
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I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
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Fantasy is seductive and much more wonderful than reality, but you can't take it to the bank. It's always an escape. And if used as an escape, as in attending a movie or a show for a circumscribed period of time, it's fine. When it starts to become undifferentiated from reality, it leads to big trouble.
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I had a mad impulse to throw you down on the lunar surface and commit interstellar perversion with you.
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Life is short. Short, and not about anything except what you can touch and what touches you.
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I've gained no wisdom, no insight, no mellowing. I would make all the same mistakes again, today.
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Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could not blink my eyes in unison. — If The Impressionists Had Been Dentists
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Some people want to achieve immortality through their works or their descendants. I prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.
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I usually want to crawl into the ground after I make a film, almost invariably.
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