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I don't want to be immortal through my works. I want to be immortal by not dying.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Immortal
Suicide
Dying
Works
Death
More quotes by Woody Allen
Show business is dog eat dog. It's worse than dog eat dog. It's dog doesn't return dog's phone calls.
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Your audience teaches you how to be funny.
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I'm really a timid person - I was beaten up by Quakers
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Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
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Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging.
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A stockbroker is someone who invests other people's money until it is all gone.
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90% of success in life is showing up
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The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
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I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
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Years ago I was on television having a discussion with Billy Graham about atheism. He was saying, even if you're right and I'm wrong, and there's nothing after, I will have had a better life than you, because I do believe there was something. And I couldn't argue with that, even though I wanted to.
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There are three things Jewish people worship-God, Chinese food and wall-to-wall carpeting.
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His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
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Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.
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This year I'm a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole?
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I was the captain of the latent paranoid softball team. We used to play all the neurotics on sunday morning. Nailbiters against the bedwetters, and if you've never seen neurotics play softball, it's really funny. I used to steal second base, and feel guilty and go back.
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Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
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My mind can never know my body, although it has become quite friendly with my legs.
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My films are misinterpreted all the time. I don't mind that. Everybody's films are misinterpreted. But there's no malice or stupidity in the people that misinterpret them. You know what you do, but someone else sees it, and they want to talk about it or write about it, and so they misinterpret them.
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It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.
Woody Allen
I always feel, I guess being a product of the movies of the 40s where movies were the greatest things and screens were big and palaces were palaces and stars were larger than life that reality was so much inferior to what we felt was conceivably possible from what we had seen in the movies.
Woody Allen
