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I don't want to be immortal through my works. I want to be immortal by not dying.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Works
Death
Immortal
Suicide
Dying
More quotes by Woody Allen
I myself don't like to speak to the actors at all. I like to hire great people and let them do their thing. I don't like to speak to them. I don't like to have lunch with them. I don't like to socialize with them. I don't like to hear their ideas.
Woody Allen
I'm going to my psychoanalyst one more year, then I'm going to Lourdes.
Woody Allen
I can't express anger. I grow a tumor instead.
Woody Allen
I usually want to crawl into the ground after I make a film, almost invariably.
Woody Allen
I was a smart kid and I was not understood by my parents.
Woody Allen
The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.
Woody Allen
I prefer the magic to reality, and have since I was 5 years old. Hopefully, I can continue to make films and constantly escape into them.
Woody Allen
I always feel, I guess being a product of the movies of the 40s where movies were the greatest things and screens were big and palaces were palaces and stars were larger than life that reality was so much inferior to what we felt was conceivably possible from what we had seen in the movies.
Woody Allen
Sex is better than talk. Ask anybody in this bar. Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.
Woody Allen
The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
Woody Allen
Nothing like a little post-traumatic stress disorder to make your day complete.
Woody Allen
It's hard for me to know. I'll think, 'I really brought off my ideas, it's great,' and no one sparks to it
Woody Allen
I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
Woody Allen
Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.
Woody Allen
This stuff tastes awful I could have made a fortune selling it in my health-food store.
Woody Allen
Standard mathematics has recently been rendered obsolete by the discovery that for years we have been writing the numeral five backward. This has led to reevaluation of counting as a method of getting from one to ten. Students are taught advanced concepts of Boolean algebra, and formerly unsolvable equations are dealt with by threats of reprisals.
Woody Allen
Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs.
Woody Allen
In life, one is entitled to a side dish of either coleslaw or potato salad, and the choice must be made in terror, with the knowledge that not only is our time on earth limited but most kitchens close at ten.
Woody Allen
There's nothing good about getting older-absolutely nothing-because the amount of wisdom and experience you gain is negligible compared to what you lose. You do gain a couple of things-you gain a little bittersweet and sour wisdom from your heartbreaks and failures and things-but what you lose is so catastrophic in every way.
Woody Allen
By now they had mastered my own language, but they still made simple mistakes, like using 'hermeneutics,' when they meant 'heuristic'.
Woody Allen
