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I don't believe in an afterlife, but I'm taking an extra pair of underwear just in case.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Believe
Pair
Pairs
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Extras
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Taking
Cases
Afterlife
Funny
Underwear
More quotes by Woody Allen
I'm in show business. I'm not like a poor factory worker who'd been laid off.
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In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.
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I'm a teleological, existential agnostic.
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When I am in New York, I want to be in Europe, and when I am in Europe, I want to be in New York.
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[...] I've come to the conclusion that the artist can not justify life or come up with a cogent reason as to why life is meaningful, but the artist can provide you with a cold glass of water on a hot day.
Woody Allen
I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.
Woody Allen
One man starving puts a crimp in my evening.
Woody Allen
I've often felt that life is a hard deal and it's unrelentingly tragic and an uphill fight.
Woody Allen
We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives.
Woody Allen
I call that mind free which jealously guards its intellectual rights and powers, which calls no man master, which does not content itself with a passive or hereditary faith, [and] receives new truth as an angel from Heaven.
Woody Allen
My grandfather had a wonderful funeral... On the buffet table there was a replica of the deceased in potato salad.
Woody Allen
If you aren't failing, you aren't trying.
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I heard that Commentary and Dissent had merged and formed Dysenery.
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Is there a separation between body and mind, and if so which is it better to have?
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Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you can play the piano.
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I'm a big believer in supporting the action on film with the appropriate music. It covers a multitude of sins. It's gotten me out of a lot of jams, over the years. So, music for me is a very big thing in films and I use it unashamedly.
Woody Allen
Let's say there was no terrorism whatsoever and we were all very nice to one another and we were all kind, we still would be faced with an extremely cruel and hostile universe and existence and so I'm a great pessimist and I feel that it's impossible really to be happy, and that the best you can hope for is to be distracted.
Woody Allen
Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again. God - I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.
Woody Allen
I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women have told me over the years that it is very, very important to them.
Woody Allen
That’s one of the nice things about writing, or any art if the thing’s real, it just lives.
Woody Allen