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I don't believe in an afterlife, but I'm taking an extra pair of underwear just in case.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Believe
Pair
Pairs
Extra
Extras
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Taking
Cases
Afterlife
Funny
Underwear
More quotes by Woody Allen
I do occasionally envy the person who is religious naturally, without being brainwashed into it or suckered into it by all the organized hustles.
Woody Allen
The curtain rises on a vast primitive wasteland, not unlike certain parts of New jersey.
Woody Allen
If you can delude yourself by believing that there is some kind of Santa Claus out there who is going to bail you out in the end, then it will help you get through. Even if you are proven wrong in the end, you would have had a better life than a non-believer.
Woody Allen
You're so good looking I can barely keep my eyes on the meter.
Woody Allen
I wish my parents had raised me in Manhattan because I think it's the greatest thing you can do for a kid is to raise them in New York City. I can see this with my own children.
Woody Allen
All over the world, relationships between men and women are very, very tricky and very difficult and you don't learn anything. It's not an exact science, so you can't learn anything. You're always going by instinct and your instinct betrays you because you want what you want when you want it.
Woody Allen
he's a genius, she's a genius, wow, you know alot of geniuses, you should meet some stupid people sometime, you might learn something
Woody Allen
I can't imagine any director directing a screenplay of mine, because the great directors all have very personal styles, and the ones that don't are not very interesting directors.
Woody Allen
I don't like theatrical actors and actresses. I like people that talk like real human beings.
Woody Allen
I've always had an easy time directing actors because I always hire ones that are great before I get my hands on them.
Woody Allen
As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Woody Allen
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Woody Allen
Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people who can't remember where they leave things.
Woody Allen
Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
Woody Allen
Honey, you're the one who stopped sleeping with me, OK? It'll be a year come April 20th. I remember the date exactly, because it was Hitler's birthday
Woody Allen
There are worse things than death. Many of them playing at a theater near you.
Woody Allen
I don't fear death. - I just don't want to be around when it happens.
Woody Allen
A man that has never lied to a woman has no respect for her feelings.
Woody Allen
I don't think my film style has changed. I'm doing the same kind of jokes I did when I was younger.
Woody Allen
I always thought that as long as man is mortal, he will never be relaxed.
Woody Allen
