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I don't believe in an afterlife, but I'm taking an extra pair of underwear just in case.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Believe
Pair
Pairs
Extra
Extras
Case
Taking
Cases
Afterlife
Funny
Underwear

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Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
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Even if God exists, he's done such a terrible job, it's a wonder people don't get together and file a class action suit against him.
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We stand at a crossroads. One path leads to despair, the other to destruction. Let's hope we make the right choice.
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I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats. (On the KKK)
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Early in life, I was visited by the bluebird of anxiety
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I've always believed that thoughtful people don't really take the tabloids seriously. They're basically a form of entertainment. I enjoy them as much as the next New Yorker.
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Until you've been kissed on a rainy Parisian afternoon - you've never been kissed.
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I got a divorce because my ex-wife left me for another woman.
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If the [actors] are working, and I have a dinner engagement, I don't do 20 takes. I do five takes and go home. I want to go to dinner.
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I always thought that as long as man is mortal, he will never be relaxed.
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Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
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It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
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There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?
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Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing.
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You can't anticipate in the room the riches of what you encounter when you're location hunting for a movie.
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