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There have been times when I've thought about it - but with my luck it would probably turn out to be only a temporary solution.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Suicidal
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Temporary
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Solution
Solutions
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Probably
More quotes by Woody Allen
The Jewish culture - people that are Jewish have a certain cultural habit that they've formed and one of those habits is an appreciation of theater and music - these are cultural things one does associate with values that are promulgated by Jewish families. I think that's a good thing.
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For some reason it gives people pleasure to equate the life of certain movie actors or actresses with their actual lives.
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I don't mind dying... as long as I don't have to be there when it happens.
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My wife is immature. Whenever I take a bath, she sinks my boats.
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But it was I - yes I - who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics!
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Someday the lion is going to lie down with the lamb, but the lamb isn't going to get much sleep.
Woody Allen
Death is an acquired trait.
Woody Allen
Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
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I never start editing a film until it's completely shot I don't edit along the way, ever. When it's finished I come in here [screening room] and we start with reel one, scene one and start editing shot by shot by shot until we're finished.
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As a boy, I was ashamed to wear glasses. I memorized the eye chart, and then on the test they asked essay questions.
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If you can delude yourself by believing that there is some kind of Santa Claus out there who is going to bail you out in the end, then it will help you get through. Even if you are proven wrong in the end, you would have had a better life than a non-believer.
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Subjectivity is objective.
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You're a genius! And the proof is that both common people and intellectuals find your work completely incoherent.
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The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody laughs at you.
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You're still in love' 'No I'm not, I'm not She'll always be a part of me, and she's an important person in my life but for the two of us something wasn't working.' 'What element?' 'We never found out
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I do believe that reality is dreadful and that you are forced to choose it in the end or go crazy, but that it kills you.
Woody Allen
My mind can never know my body, although it has become quite friendly with my legs.
Woody Allen
Those who can't do, teach. And those who can't teach, teach gym.
Woody Allen
Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing.
Woody Allen
But what if everyone in the world behaved like me and came here and shot Brisseau through the ear? What a mess! And of course we'd need valet parking.
Woody Allen
