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There have been times when I've thought about it - but with my luck it would probably turn out to be only a temporary solution.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Turn
Probably
Turns
Times
Suicidal
Thought
Temporary
Would
Solution
Solutions
Luck

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Life is unresolved, confusing, bewildering, puzzling, ambiguous. You don't really know what's going to happen. The future is uncertain for everybody.
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I think I've gotten technically better over the years but you'd have to be a fool not to. I've made so many movies that by sheer quantity you get better at the technique.
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It's all through the actors I cannot write in that idiom
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I had an IQ test. The results came back negative.
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I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.
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There is always the possibility that people will change. Real change is more rare. You are who you are at a certain age in life you are pretty much a variation of that your whole life. It's conceivable that you will change but it's not likely.
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I don't get depressed I grow a tumor instead.
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I was the captain of the latent paranoid softball team. We used to play all the neurotics on sunday morning. Nailbiters against the bedwetters, and if you've never seen neurotics play softball, it's really funny. I used to steal second base, and feel guilty and go back.
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Usually, you hire people that you think are wonderful.
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What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
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If you take a frown and turn it upside down, the person you are holding by the ankles will soon pass out.
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I foresee death by culture shock.
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She had been critical of his new torch song, A Side Order of Heartache, Please, suggesting it could be used as a good way to break in their new paper shredder.
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All i have in my life is my imagination
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Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.
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I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
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I don't believe in an afterlife, but I'm taking an extra pair of underwear just in case.
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Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
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