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There have been times when I've thought about it - but with my luck it would probably turn out to be only a temporary solution.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Would
Solution
Solutions
Luck
Turn
Probably
Turns
Times
Suicidal
Thought
Temporary

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Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
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I carry a bullet in my breast pocket. Once, a crazy evangelist threw a bible at me, which would have gone through my heart if it wasn't for the bullet.
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What I do know about physics is that to a man standing on the shore, time passes quicker than to a man on a boat - especially if the man on the boat is with his wife.
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I'm very old-fashioned. I believe that people should stay married for life, like pigeons and Catholics.
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I'm giving [my analyst] one more year--then I'm going to Lourdes.
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Sentence structure is innate, but whining is acquired.
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Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.
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Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
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The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.
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I've gained no wisdom, no insight, no mellowing. I would make all the same mistakes again, today.
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The dictatorship is shut up, democracy is always concerned.
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How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
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The audience goes to sleep really quickly! If you have a slight pause at the wrong time, that's it!
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Chastity is curable, if detected early.
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