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The chief problem about death ... is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
May
Afterlife
Depressing
Chief
Chiefs
Fear
Death
Thought
Problem
More quotes by Woody Allen
I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.
Woody Allen
What advice would I give the average homeowner to protect himself against burglars? Well, the first thing is to keep a light on in the house when you go out. It must be at least a sixty-watt bulb anything less and the burglar will ransack the house, out of contempt for the wattage.
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We laughed over it, and Hemingway punched me in the mouth.
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The key point about a demonstration is that it must be seen. Hence the term demonstration. If a person demonstrates privately in his own home, this is not technically a demonstration but merely acting silly or behaving like an ass.
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I was in analysis. I was suicidal. As a matter of fact, I would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian and if you kill yourself they make you pay for the sessions you miss.
Woody Allen
I don't inhale because it gives you cancer, but I look so incredibly handsome with a cigarette that I can't not hold one.
Woody Allen
Achilles only had an Achilles heel, I have an entire Achilles body.
Woody Allen
My mind can never know my body, although it has become quite friendly with my legs.
Woody Allen
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
Woody Allen
I loathed every day and regret every day I spent in school. I like to be taught to read and write and add and then be left alone.
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A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men. I have the strength of one small boy... with polio.
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I'm trying to arrange my life so I don't have to be present.
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I see the glass half full...but of poison.
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That (sex) was the most fun I ever had without laughing.
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I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you take two negative points?
Woody Allen
I think universal harmony is a pipedream and it may be more productive to focus on more modest goals, like a ban on yodeling.
Woody Allen
Men would make love with any number of women ... even total strangers, while females were selective. They were catering to the demands of one small egg. While males had millions of frantic sperms screaming: Let us out, let us out!.
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The roe is reputed to sleep for a thousand years and then suddenly rise in flames, particularly if it was smoking when it dozed off.
Woody Allen
If I had my life to live over, I wish I could be a great pianist or something.
Woody Allen
I never think I feel cynical in general. Cynical is reality with an alternate spelling. I feel there's a gigantic amount of injustice and overt crime every day in the world, from emotional crimes to international crimes, and it often carries rewards.
Woody Allen
