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The meaning of life is that nobody knows the meaning of life.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Nobody
Life
Meaning
More quotes by Woody Allen
I always thought that as long as man is mortal, he will never be relaxed.
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I like broad comedy. If I had an idea tomorrow for a film that was all slapstick and broad comedy, and it was an idea that interested me, I would not hesitate to do it because I enjoy watching these kinds of film.
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I'm a comedian. I make comic films and there are certain ideas that occur to me that are comic, with heavy, serious undertones. There are some ideas that are more frivolous to me. The next idea that could occur to me could be comedy about death and famine or something.
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I'm a terrible musician. While the band members are great, I'm tolerated and affectionately regarded because I do movies, but if I had to make my living as a musician I would starve. I'm like a Sunday tennis player.
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Me sitting down for dinner with Ingmar Bergman felt like a house painter sitting down with Picasso.
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Honey, you're the one who stopped sleeping with me, OK? It'll be a year come April 20th. I remember the date exactly, because it was Hitler's birthday
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You look up after many years and you find that a film has become a classic because it's meaningful to people and alive, decade after decade.
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Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.
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I do occasionally envy the person who is religious naturally, without being brainwashed into it or suckered into it by all the organized hustles.
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... years of insanity have made this guy crazy!
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Manute Bol is so skinny they save money on road trips. They just fax him from city to city.
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In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.
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My parents stayed together for forty years. But that was out of spite.
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I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
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Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
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It figures you've got to hate yourself if you've got any integrity at all.
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I can't do anything to death, doctor's orders.
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In fact, when they wake up in the morning, they're Jack Nicholson or Robert De Niro or Josh Brolin. And it's built-in, but they think it's all this other stuff. But it's not. They'd be great if they didn't think about their part or if they did think about it.
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In every generation there are a few people who are authentically funny. The cosmetics change. You may not be able to articulate it, and you may laugh at them and get a certain amount of enjoyment. But when you're asleep at night, and you wake up at 3 in the morning, and you're alone in your bed, you know who's really funny.
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I'm trying to arrange my life so I don't have to be present.
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