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The meaning of life is that nobody knows the meaning of life.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Meaning
Nobody
Life
More quotes by Woody Allen
I'm so excited-I think today I'm going to brush all my teeth.
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Sex and death. Two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous.
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Life is horrible, but it is not relentlessly black from wire to wire. You can sit down and hear a Mozart symphony, or you can watch the Marx Brothers, and this will give you a pleasant escape for a while. And that is about the best that you can do.
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I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
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Some people want to achieve immortality through their works or their descendants. I prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.
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When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty.
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If God is everywhere, I had concluded, then He is in food. Therefore, the more I ate the godlier I would become. Impelled by this new religious fervor, I glutted myself like a fanatic.
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Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging.
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I keep getting more and more ambitious. Over the years, to some degree, in some areas, I feel I've grown. In some areas, I made a fool of myself. In some areas, I think I can still do some funny things.
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Last year I had difficulty with my income tax. I tried to take my analyst off as a business deduction. The Government said it was entertainment. We compromised finally and made it a religious contribution.
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I recently turned 60. Practically a third of my life is over.
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One of the wonderful things about making a film of any genre is that you have dialogue. You can take up a position. If you want to say something about your position, you can just say it. You don't have to spend massive amounts of screen time.
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I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
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Do I believe in God? I did until Mother's accident. She fell on some meat loaf and it penetrated her spleen.
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I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.
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Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.
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Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.
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I don't like to reminisce much, and my walls don't have photographs of me and the actors I was with, or any of that stuff... I try and keep that disciplined, and just work. There are so many traps you can get into, and looking back on your own work is certainly one of them.
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Our love, our love will last forever. It's forever but it just doesn't work. That's why it will always be romantic because it can not be complete.
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I've inherited the worst of each parent. I have my father's hypochondria and lack of concentration. I have his amorality. I have everything bad that he had. Then I have my mother's surly, pill-like, complaining, whining attitude.
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