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A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Wife
Lasts
Breakup
Life
Exes
Divorce
Length
Drinking
Marriage
Rest

More quotes by Woody Allen

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People make films for different reasons. For money. Or, they make them because something in them demands artistic expression. I do it because I enjoy the work.
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My father worked for the same firm for 12 years. They fired him and replaced him with a tiny gadget that does everything my father does, only much better. The depressing thing is my mother ran out and bought one
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And Nietzche, with his theory of eternal recurrence. He said that the life we lived we're going to live over again the exact same way for eternity. Great. That means I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.
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You're so good looking I can barely keep my eyes on the meter.
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I'm not a big believer in the sense of Jews having a monopoly on comedy.
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My films are misinterpreted all the time. I don't mind that. Everybody's films are misinterpreted. But there's no malice or stupidity in the people that misinterpret them. You know what you do, but someone else sees it, and they want to talk about it or write about it, and so they misinterpret them.
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I think [aging] has nothing to recommend it. You don't gain any wisdom as the years go by. You fall apart, is what happens. People try and put a nice varnish on it, and say, well, you mellow. You come to understand life and accept things. But you'd trade all of that for being 35 again.
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She had been critical of his new torch song, A Side Order of Heartache, Please, suggesting it could be used as a good way to break in their new paper shredder.
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Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
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There are worse things than death. Many of them playing at a theater near you.
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The roe is reputed to sleep for a thousand years and then suddenly rise in flames, particularly if it was smoking when it dozed off.
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There's nothing wrong with you that a little Prozac and a polo mallet can't cure.
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Drama, it would be as if you wrote some poetry. You'd run the risk of being embarrassed if people read it, because you're pouring your heart out and you're not mitigating it with any humor or anything.
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With me it's just a genetic dissatisfaction with everything.
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I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
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We Are The Sum Total Of Our Choices.
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Chastity is curable, if detected early.
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I got a divorce because my ex-wife left me for another woman.
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How wrong Emily Dickinson was! Hope is not the thing with feathers. The thing with feathers has turned out to be my nephew. I must take him to a specialist in Zurich.
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I've never dated a fictional character before. The closest I ever came was an Italian.
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