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The heart wants what it wants. There's no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that's that.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Logic
Meet
Wants
Fall
Someone
Heart
Things
Love
Adore

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Subjectivity is objective.
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God, you Jews are truly exotic. Exotic? She should only know the Greenblatts. Or Mr. and Mrs. Milton Sharpstein, my father's friends. Or for that matter, my cousin Tovah. Exotic? I mean, they're nice, but hardly exotic with their endless bickering over the best way to combat indigestion or how far back to sit from the television set.
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Everyone wants to get out of living where they're living now, because life is a pretty tough proposition and not much fun. But when you think back to earlier times, you only extrapolate the nice things.
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I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.
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Love may be the answer, but even though you're watching for the solution, intercourse raises some rather interesting thoughts.
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I got a divorce because my ex-wife left me for another woman.
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Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.
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What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
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When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said rabies. She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets... I thought she'd been bitten by a Great Dane.
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Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
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Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
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That’s one of the nice things about writing, or any art if the thing’s real, it just lives.
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I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
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You can be distracted by your love life, by the baseball game, movies, by the nonsense. Can I get my kid into this private school? Can I get this girl to go out with me Saturday night? Am I going to get the promotion in my office? All this stuff, but in the end the universe burns out. So I think it's completely meaningless.
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This stuff tastes awful I could have made a fortune selling it in my health-food store.
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If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
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When one chooses to be a writer, psychologically there's a reason for that because you like the isolation and you like to be by yourself and you are by nature timid.
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Those who can't do, teach. And those who can't teach, teach gym.
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Raised by two mothers...wow, most of us barely survive one
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The best an idea gets is when its in your head.
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