Quote

For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Decided
Always
Single
Week
Bermuda
Whether
Pondered
Funny
Trip
Vacation
Two
Divorce
Take
Weeks
Something

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To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer. Not to love is to suffer.
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Basically I am a low-culture person. I prefer watching baseball with a beer and some meatballs.
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That (sex) was the most fun I ever had without laughing.
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I think there is too much wrong with the world to ever get too relaxed and happy. The more natural state, and the better one, I think, is one of some anxiety and tension over man's plight in this mysterious universe.
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I said this to my daughter, if you don't practice the guitar, when you get older you wouldn't be able to play it. It's that simple. If you want to play the guitar, you put a half hour in everyday, but you have to do it.
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When you start putting a higher value on works of art than people, you’re forfeiting your humanity.
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I'm not a big believer in the sense of Jews having a monopoly on comedy.
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I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
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God is either cruel or incompetent.
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I'm trying to arrange my life so I don't have to be present.
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The film studios learned to our dismay but to their pleasure that if they spent $200 million making a film they could make half a billion on it. So they were not interested anymore in quality films... They can't afford to be that risky at those prices. Consequently you're getting a lot of remakes, sequels, dopey comedies full of toilet jokes...
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Talent is luck. The important thing in life is courage.
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Where did we come from? Where are we going? Is there possibility of a group discount?
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Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
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But what if everyone in the world behaved like me and came here and shot Brisseau through the ear? What a mess! And of course we'd need valet parking.
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I don't like to meet the actor and have a lot of conferences and talk about their sub-life and their off-screen life and their back stories and all that nonsense, because it never means anything.
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I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.
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The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
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I cannot say for certain that God does not exist I think the worst thing that can be said about him is that he's a bit of an underachiever.
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The French make two mistakes about me. They think I'm an intellectual because I wear these glasses and they think I'm an artist because my films lose money.
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