Quote

For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Funny
Trip
Two
Vacation
Take
Divorce
Something
Weeks
Always
Decided
Single
Week
Bermuda
Whether
Pondered

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I never ever see a film of mine after I release it to the public. I see it when I shoot it in my dailies and while I'm editing it, re-editing it and reshooting it and all that. By the time it's finished I never want to see it again.
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To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer. Not to love is to suffer.
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This stuff tastes awful I could have made a fortune selling it in my health-food store.
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I've always been interested in being in other people's movies. I never get any offers.
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Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.
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Am I my brother's keeper? Yes. Interestingly, in my case, I share that honor with the Prospect Park Zoo.
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The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.
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I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.
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I'm a creature of the New York City streets.
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Fantasy is only a state of mind that you can employ when existing in a real context.
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Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.
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Over the years I've never written or made movies about political themes 'cause while they do have current critical importance, in the large, large scheme of things, only the big questions matter and the answers to those big questions are very, very depressing.
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A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.
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Some people are funny, and some people are not funny. Many people who are not funny can make a living at it. You don't have to be great to make a living at it. Just like a doctor who doesn't have to be great can still make a living out of it.
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I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic.
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Life is a concentration camp. You're stuck here and there's no way out and you can only rage impotently against your persecutors.
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