Quote

My father worked for the same firm for 12 years. They fired him and replaced him with a tiny gadget that does everything my father does, only much better. The depressing thing is my mother ran out and bought one

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Doe
Ran
Better
Replaced
Everything
Bought
Thing
Firm
Much
Tiny
Gadget
Years
Worked
Gadgets
Time
Father
Fired
Mother
Depressing

More quotes by Woody Allen

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No one ever wants the whole script. I give the whole script to people who require the whole script but to those people who don't require the whole script I don't give it to them and no one cares. They're relieved not to have to read extra pages that they're not in.
Woody Allen
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A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.
Woody Allen
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Every success is built on the ability to do better than good enough. As you climb the ladder of success, be sure it's leaning against the right building. Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Woody Allen
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In real life I'm not the character I play in my films. I'm reasonably competent, I work very hard, I'm disciplined, I lead a very middle class life. I work in the mornings, I have lunch, I practise my clarinet, I go to the movies, I eat out in restaurants or watch ball games on television or at the ball games.
Woody Allen
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I don't why whatever works and whatever doesn't. You just make the film that you enjoy making at the time, and you think there's a good chance that people might enjoy the story. You're surprised pleasantly when they do. It's just luck.
Woody Allen
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For some reason I've always had an irrational love for New York. There's no reason that you would necessarily like it on paper. It's very expensive.
Woody Allen
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You know what my philosophy of life is? That it’s important to have some laughs, but you got to suffer a little too, because otherwise you miss the whole point to life.
Woody Allen
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There have been times when I've thought about it - but with my luck it would probably turn out to be only a temporary solution.
Woody Allen
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When you work from city to city or country to country, you work the same way the working method is the same.
Woody Allen
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Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
Woody Allen
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There's nothing sexier than a lapsed Catholic.
Woody Allen
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Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful provided you get between the right man and the right woman.
Woody Allen
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The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily laying down.
Woody Allen
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I hate the beach. I hate the sun. I'm pale and I'm redheaded. I don't tan - I stroke!
Woody Allen
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Anything worth knowing cannot be understood by the human mind.
Woody Allen
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I'd like to make a great movie. I've made many movies. I think I've made some good movies, but I never felt I've made a great movie.
Woody Allen
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My gift was in comedy. I found out I could make jokes. I could tell jokes. I could write them. So over the years, that's what I've done.
Woody Allen
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In life, one is entitled to a side dish of either coleslaw or potato salad, and the choice must be made in terror, with the knowledge that not only is our time on earth limited but most kitchens close at ten.
Woody Allen
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A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
Woody Allen
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Does art imitate life, or does life imitate TV?
Woody Allen