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My father worked for the same firm for 12 years. They fired him and replaced him with a tiny gadget that does everything my father does, only much better. The depressing thing is my mother ran out and bought one
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Tiny
Gadget
Years
Worked
Gadgets
Time
Father
Fired
Mother
Depressing
Doe
Ran
Better
Replaced
Everything
Bought
Thing
Firm
More quotes by Woody Allen
I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.
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I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it.
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As I got more confident, I was able to let actors improvise, and do long takes. It's 10%, 5% you learn and experience. The rest you just have or you don't have.
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Your still searching for me in every woman. You'll always seek to duplicate what we had. You know it.
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Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing.
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I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats. (On the KKK)
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Nothing worth knowing can be understood with the mind.
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The content dictates the style all the time. That's the way it is. If the content of the film - as in Husbands and Wives - is highly jagged, neurotic, fast-paced, nervous New York film, it just called for that kind of shooting, editing and performance.
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I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.
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A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
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Does art imitate life, or does life imitate TV?
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Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people who can't remember where they leave things.
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God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.
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When I'm writing something, if there's a part that's good for me, then I'll play it. Otherwise, I don't. And I notice that there are less and less parts for me in my own writing.
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You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.
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And my parents finally realize I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room.
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I think, on both sides of the camera or the novel: Distraction. I'm obsessed with: Can I get this actress or my third act to work? I'm distracted. I'm interested in that so I don't sit home and think, Gee, life is meaningless. We're all going to die. The universe is pulling apart at breakneck speed.
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Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
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I want to return to the womb, anyone's.
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Some women feel power is important, some women feel that looks are important, tenderness, intelligence...but sense of humor seems to permeate all of them.
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