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My father worked for the same firm for 12 years. They fired him and replaced him with a tiny gadget that does everything my father does, only much better. The depressing thing is my mother ran out and bought one
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Years
Worked
Gadgets
Time
Father
Fired
Mother
Depressing
Doe
Ran
Better
Replaced
Everything
Bought
Thing
Firm
Much
Tiny
Gadget
More quotes by Woody Allen
With me it's just a genetic dissatisfaction with everything.
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Enthusiasm is a good engine, but it needs intelligence for a driver.
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You can be with your wife, very happily married, and then you meet some woman and you love her. But you love your wife, too. And you also love that one. Or if she's met some man and she loves the man and she loves you. And then you meet somebody else and now there are three of you. Why only one person?
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If 90% of success in life is showing up, the other 10% depends on what you're showing up for.
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I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
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They were doing the Dying Swan at the ballet. And there was a rumor that some bookmarkers had drifted into town from upstate New York and that they had fixed the bullet. There was a lot of money bet on the swan to live.
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If you're born with a gift, to behave like it's an achievement is not right.
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I've often felt that life is a hard deal and it's unrelentingly tragic and an uphill fight.
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No, I don't think you're paranoid. I think you're the opposite of paranoid. I think you walk around with the insane delusion that people like you.
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And my parents finally realize I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room.
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I was raised in a religious home. It was unreasonable enforced religion that turned me off it. It was a joyless, unpleasant, stupid, barbaric thing when I was a child and I've never gotten over that feeling. If you're talking about religion it's one thing I don't hold Jewish religion with any more seriousness than I would any other.
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It's funny. Maria Elena and I, we are meant for each other and not meant for each other, it's a contradiction.
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What' s the matter with me? Why can't I be cool?
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My wife is immature. Whenever I take a bath, she sinks my boats.
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What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?
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Film is more of novelty, because I've done so much theater over many years. I'm in love with making movies. Also, I find it easier to remember three minutes of dialogue than three hours.
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I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
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A stockbroker is someone who invests other people's money until it is all gone.
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For some reason it gives people pleasure to equate the life of certain movie actors or actresses with their actual lives.
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If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
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