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I don't know what I want, but I know what I don't want

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen

More quotes by Woody Allen

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It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
Woody Allen
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I think there is too much wrong with the world to ever get too relaxed and happy. The more natural state, and the better one, I think, is one of some anxiety and tension over man's plight in this mysterious universe.
Woody Allen
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In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and someone to actually show up and do the revolting. Dress is usually casual and both parties may be flexible about time and place, but if either faction fails to attend, the whole enterprise is likely to come off badly.
Woody Allen
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I prefer the magic to reality, and have since I was 5 years old. Hopefully, I can continue to make films and constantly escape into them.
Woody Allen
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Real software engineers don't debug programs, they verify correctness. This process doesn't necessarily involve execution of anything on a computer, except perhaps a Correctness Verification Aid package. Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
Woody Allen
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I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
Woody Allen
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I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
Woody Allen
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Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!
Woody Allen
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Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.
Woody Allen
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I can't imagine any director directing a screenplay of mine, because the great directors all have very personal styles, and the ones that don't are not very interesting directors.
Woody Allen
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It's very hard to keep your spirits up. You've got to keep selling yourself a bill of goods, and some people are better at lying to themselves than others. If you face reality too much, it kills you.... you've got to find an answer to the question: Why go on?
Woody Allen
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Do I believe in God? I did until Mother's accident. She fell on some meat loaf and it penetrated her spleen.
Woody Allen
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But it was I - yes I - who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics!
Woody Allen
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I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
Woody Allen
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Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that yesterday too, and it rained.
Woody Allen
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When you work from city to city or country to country, you work the same way the working method is the same.
Woody Allen
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Where did we come from? Where are we going? Is there possibility of a group discount?
Woody Allen
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A fast word about oral contraception. I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
Woody Allen
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People make films for different reasons. For money. Or, they make them because something in them demands artistic expression. I do it because I enjoy the work.
Woody Allen
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I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.
Woody Allen