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I was in analysis. I was suicidal. As a matter of fact, I would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian and if you kill yourself they make you pay for the sessions you miss.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
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Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
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I always thought it would be very funny if I was a blind film director.
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He's a politician. That's a notch below child molester.
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Love may be the answer, but even though you're watching for the solution, intercourse raises some rather interesting thoughts.
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It's all through the actors I cannot write in that idiom
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The best things in life are censored.
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Oh, he was probably a member of the National Rifle Association. It was a group that helped criminals get guns so they could shoot citizens. It was a public service.
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Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
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God is either cruel or incompetent.
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I don't think my film style has changed. I'm doing the same kind of jokes I did when I was younger.
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Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
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There's nothing sexier than a lapsed Catholic.
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Should I marry W? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name. And what about her career? How can I ask a woman of her beauty to give up the Roller Derby? Decisions...
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My films are a form of psychoanalysis, except that it is I who am paid, which changes everything.
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I do feel it's important to have some kind of faith in something, but [it is] impossible for many of us. I personally don't have any faith in anything, but it's great if you can.
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History is the same thing over and over again.
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When the Academy called, I panicked. I thought they might want their Oscars back and the pawn shop has been out of business for a while.
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