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I was in analysis. I was suicidal. As a matter of fact, I would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian and if you kill yourself they make you pay for the sessions you miss.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
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Film Actor
Film Director
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Jazz Musician
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The Bronx
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Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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More quotes by Woody Allen

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I always feel, I guess being a product of the movies of the 40s where movies were the greatest things and screens were big and palaces were palaces and stars were larger than life that reality was so much inferior to what we felt was conceivably possible from what we had seen in the movies.
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The audience is making the film and not the film-maker.
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I am two with nature.
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I don't why whatever works and whatever doesn't. You just make the film that you enjoy making at the time, and you think there's a good chance that people might enjoy the story. You're surprised pleasantly when they do. It's just luck.
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When I first started, there were writers that I looked up to that I felt very influenced by and very respectful toward their work and their opinion of my work.
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There is no justice, there is no rational structure to it [life]. That is just the way it is, and each person figures out some way to cope.
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I've had bad luck in my two previous marriages. The first wife left me, and the second did not. ­
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In certain areas I don't function well and in other areas I function very well. I'm very good professionally. I have good discipline, I'm able to write every day and do films and not go six times over the budget. I mean I'm a coherent person, but I also don't like to go through tunnels when I travel. I'm claustrophobic.
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Eternity is really long, especially near the end.
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New York is my home and I have a particular fondness for it. I think it's a place where you can generate any kind of story wonderfully. But I also would be very happy to make a film in Paris or Rome.
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I usually want to crawl into the ground after I make a film, almost invariably.
Woody Allen
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I wouldn't necessarily want to be a big muscular guy. It's nice to be gorgeous whether you're male or female assuming you don't lose whatever else you have.
Woody Allen
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I would never wanna belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member.
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Nothing worth knowing can be understood with the mind.
Woody Allen
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People still have existential anxiety. It just may not be expressed in Hebraic idiom.
Woody Allen
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Is world peace possible or is the human race too innately aggressive? For instance: Have you ever seen women at a sample sale?
Woody Allen
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I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats. (On the KKK)
Woody Allen
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I know of only six genuine comic geniuses in movie history Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Groucho Marx & Harpo Marx, Peter Sellers, and W.C. Fields.
Woody Allen
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Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
Woody Allen
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I don't own a computer. I've never seen anything online at all - nothing. I don't own a word processor. I have none of that stuff. It's not an act of rebellion. I'm just not a gadget person.
Woody Allen