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I was in analysis. I was suicidal. As a matter of fact, I would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian and if you kill yourself they make you pay for the sessions you miss.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Kill
Freudian
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Sessions
Would
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Facts
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More quotes by Woody Allen

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To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer. Not to love is to suffer.
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My father owned a small piece of land. He carried it with him wherever he went.
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The prettiest women are almost always the most boring, and that is why some people feel there is no God.
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Human beings are divided into mind and body. The mind embraces all the nobler aspirations, like poetry and philosophy, but the body has all the fun.
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In order to be successful, all you've got to do is show up 80 percent of the time.
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I have one last request. Don't use embalming fluid on me I want to be stuffed with crab meat.
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Some men are heterosexual and some men are bisexual and some men don't think about sex at all ... you know, they become lawyers.
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If you aren't failing every now and then, you're probably playing it too safe.
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You look up after many years and you find that a film has become a classic because it's meaningful to people and alive, decade after decade.
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What was the scandal? I fell in love with this girl, married her. We have been married for almost 15 years now.
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I can do a limited amount of things and that's what I do and I feel comfortable doing it and I have no particular desire to do anything else as an actor.
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When it comes to sex there are certain things that should always be left unknown, and with my luck, they probably will be.
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The less I speak to the actors, the better. And I always hire great people, and I don't want to impose my pre-conceived notions on them. They know how to play it.
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My films are misinterpreted all the time. I don't mind that. Everybody's films are misinterpreted. But there's no malice or stupidity in the people that misinterpret them. You know what you do, but someone else sees it, and they want to talk about it or write about it, and so they misinterpret them.
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What advice would I give the average homeowner to protect himself against burglars? Well, the first thing is to keep a light on in the house when you go out. It must be at least a sixty-watt bulb anything less and the burglar will ransack the house, out of contempt for the wattage.
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We knew the front door was always left open, but we broke in just to keep in practice. Doxy turned all the Washburn family photos to the wall so there wouldn't be any witnesses.
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A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.
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I don't know enough to be incompetent.
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Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.
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If you are not failing now and again, its a sign you are not doing anything very innovative
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