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I was in analysis. I was suicidal. As a matter of fact, I would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian and if you kill yourself they make you pay for the sessions you miss.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Make
Missing
Sessions
Would
Pay
Suicidal
Humor
Session
Fact
Strict
Funny
Analysis
Science
Killed
Facts
Miss
Matter
Kill
Freudian

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Eighty percent of success is showing up.
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If you are not failing now and again, its a sign you are not doing anything very innovative
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My Lord, my Lord! What hath Thou done lately?
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Visually I've always liked the 20s 30s for film. I do these because I like the music. I like the clothes. I like the way the women and the guys look. There are soldiers and sailors and gangsters with the machine guns in their violin cases. It's a very colorful era of New York, full of great theater and great nightclubs and great jazz.
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A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.
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Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
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When I'm writing something, if there's a part that's good for me, then I'll play it. Otherwise, I don't. And I notice that there are less and less parts for me in my own writing.
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I think that the tendency for most people is to fall back on a comic interpretation of things because things are so sad, so terrible. If you didn't laugh you'd kill yourself. But the truth of the matter is that existence in general is very very tragic, very very sad, very brutal and very unhappy.
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Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
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When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl - she wanted a divorce.
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I've always believed that thoughtful people don't really take the tabloids seriously. They're basically a form of entertainment. I enjoy them as much as the next New Yorker.
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I'm really impotent against the overwhelming bleakness of the universe and the only thing I can do is my little gift [filmmaking] and do it the best I can, [...] which is cold comfort.
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Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.
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If God is everywhere, I had concluded, then He is in food. Therefore, the more I ate the godlier I would become. Impelled by this new religious fervor, I glutted myself like a fanatic.
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I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
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I, interestingly, had dated a woman in the Eisenhower Administration briefly, and it was ironic to me 'cause I was trying to do toher what Eisenhower has been doing to the country for the last eight years.
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Paris is particularly beautiful in the rain. It was just a nice experience for me, a pleasant experience, and I was able to present it to the world through my eyes, very subjectively - not realistically, but subjectively.
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