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It's funny. Maria Elena and I, we are meant for each other and not meant for each other, it's a contradiction.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Elena
Maria
Barcelona
Contradiction
Meant
Funny
More quotes by Woody Allen
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
Woody Allen
Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.
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Sex and death. Two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous.
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Until you've been kissed on a rainy Parisian afternoon - you've never been kissed.
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I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.
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That (sex) was the most fun I ever had without laughing.
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Of all human weakness obsession is the most dangerous. And the silliest.
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When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl - she wanted a divorce.
Woody Allen
Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
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The Jewish culture - people that are Jewish have a certain cultural habit that they've formed and one of those habits is an appreciation of theater and music - these are cultural things one does associate with values that are promulgated by Jewish families. I think that's a good thing.
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The wicked at heart probably know something.
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In a relationship, it is better to be the leaver than the leavee.
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How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
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Change is almost always negative. Things degenerate.
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Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.
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When you make the film, there's a big difference between when you're in your own home at the typewriter, and when you're standing on a mountain, or on a street corner, and buses are coming by-it's a different reality. You make a million changes that were never in the script, but that reality dictates.
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The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody laughs at you.
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90% of success in life is showing up
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Have you ever taken a serious political stand on anything? Yeah. Sure. For twenty-four hours once I refused to eat grapes.
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My analyst warned me, but you were so beautiful I got another analyst.
Woody Allen
