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It's funny. Maria Elena and I, we are meant for each other and not meant for each other, it's a contradiction.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Contradiction
Meant
Funny
Elena
Maria
Barcelona
More quotes by Woody Allen
But what if everyone in the world behaved like me and came here and shot Brisseau through the ear? What a mess! And of course we'd need valet parking.
Woody Allen
I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women have told me over the years that it is very, very important to them.
Woody Allen
How wrong Emily Dickinson was! Hope is not the thing with feathers. The thing with feathers has turned out to be my nephew. I must take him to a specialist in Zurich.
Woody Allen
I'm a comedian. I make comic films and there are certain ideas that occur to me that are comic, with heavy, serious undertones. There are some ideas that are more frivolous to me. The next idea that could occur to me could be comedy about death and famine or something.
Woody Allen
Reality may not be the best of all possible worlds, but it's still the only place where you can get a decent steak.
Woody Allen
I always thought that as long as man is mortal, he will never be relaxed.
Woody Allen
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Woody Allen
I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you take two negative points?
Woody Allen
You know, it's one thing about intellectuals, they prove that you can be absolutely brilliant and have no idea what's going on.
Woody Allen
Writing is great because in the writing you never have to... First of all you never have to leave your home. And you never have to meet the test of reality when you're writing.
Woody Allen
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
Woody Allen
In order to be successful, all you've got to do is show up 80 percent of the time.
Woody Allen
Sentence structure is innate, but whining is acquired.
Woody Allen
Dying is like making love, except you don't get naseous afterwards.
Woody Allen
I consider myself a completely lucky filmmaker. I've had nothing but good luck. Everything I've needed has come my way.
Woody Allen
I do occasionally envy the person who is religious naturally, without being brainwashed into it or suckered into it by all the organized hustles.
Woody Allen
Years ago I was on television having a discussion with Billy Graham about atheism. He was saying, even if you're right and I'm wrong, and there's nothing after, I will have had a better life than you, because I do believe there was something. And I couldn't argue with that, even though I wanted to.
Woody Allen
When you write the script, you're home in a room by yourself, and you're writing, and there's no connection with the real performing world. So you get a lot of things wrong and make a lot of mistakes and make a lot of bad choices.
Woody Allen
If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.
Woody Allen
I've always had an easy time directing actors because I always hire ones that are great before I get my hands on them.
Woody Allen
