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I read in self-defense.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Defense
Read
Self

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Once munching has begun, Schopenhauer held, the human will cannot resist further munching, and the result is a universe with crumbs over everything.
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Eighty percent of success is showing up.
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I heard that Commentary and Dissent had merged and formed Dysenery.
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The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.
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Is old age really so terrible? Not if you've brushed your teeth faithfully.
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Geez, I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I'm never gonna get, and just enjoy it while it lasts.
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I never think I feel cynical in general. Cynical is reality with an alternate spelling. I feel there's a gigantic amount of injustice and overt crime every day in the world, from emotional crimes to international crimes, and it often carries rewards.
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. . . they confuse everything I do with my life.
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What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn't for certain people.
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... years of insanity have made this guy crazy!
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Meanwhile, the minute you put on the dotted line your Sam Hancock - and before a notary - you'll not only get the negative but Elsie makes a wonderful stuffed cabbage which we'll include gratis a few portions but return the jars please.
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A man that has never lied to a woman has no respect for her feelings.
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What was the scandal? I fell in love with this girl, married her. We have been married for almost 15 years now.
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Drama, it would be as if you wrote some poetry. You'd run the risk of being embarrassed if people read it, because you're pouring your heart out and you're not mitigating it with any humor or anything.
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The dictatorship is shut up, democracy is always concerned.
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If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
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At the trial Stubbs chose to act as his own lawyer, but a conflict over his fee led to ill feelings.
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I never thought I was doing anyone a favour by bringing children into the world. With people as cruel to each other as they are, it's a terrible proposition. The best of lives are sad and tragic. The best of them. My general conclusion is that it's not a nice thing to do. The world doesn't need it. The kid doesn't need it.
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Abysmal vermin that I am, I couldn't of course tell her that it was her incredible mother that I wanted to see again… I knew only as I drove through the cold, night autumn air that somewhere Freud, Sophocles and Eugene O’Neill were laughing.
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