Quote

I read in self-defense.

Woody Allen

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Defense
Read
Self

More quotes by Woody Allen

Image
The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty.
Woody Allen
Image
She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak.
Woody Allen
Image
I heard that Commentary and Dissent had merged and formed Dysenery.
Woody Allen
Image
The audience goes to sleep really quickly! If you have a slight pause at the wrong time, that's it!
Woody Allen
Image
I took a puff of the wrong cigarette at a fraternity dance once, and the cops had to get me, y'know. I broke two teeth trying to give a hickie to the Statue of Liberty.
Woody Allen
Image
I don't inhale because it gives you cancer, but I look so incredibly handsome with a cigarette that I can't not hold one.
Woody Allen
Image
If God is everywhere, I had concluded, then He is in food. Therefore, the more I ate the godlier I would become. Impelled by this new religious fervor, I glutted myself like a fanatic.
Woody Allen
Image
Science is an intellectual dead end, you know? It's a lot of little guys in tweed suits cutting up frogs on foundation grants.
Woody Allen
Image
I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics.
Woody Allen
Image
A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men. I have the strength of one small boy... with polio.
Woody Allen
Image
Nothing worth knowing can be understood with the mind.
Woody Allen
Image
I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
Woody Allen
Image
I am two with nature.
Woody Allen
Image
I wouldn't mind dying so much if it wasn't that I would be dead at the end of it.
Woody Allen
Image
I can levitate birds. No one cares.
Woody Allen
Image
There's nothing good about getting older-absolutely nothing-because the amount of wisdom and experience you gain is negligible compared to what you lose. You do gain a couple of things-you gain a little bittersweet and sour wisdom from your heartbreaks and failures and things-but what you lose is so catastrophic in every way.
Woody Allen
Image
What was the scandal? I fell in love with this girl, married her. We have been married for almost 15 years now.
Woody Allen
Image
There are three things Jewish people worship-God, Chinese food and wall-to-wall carpeting.
Woody Allen
Image
The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. I think that the worst thing you could say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. After all, you know, there are worse things in life than death.
Woody Allen
Image
If you're born with a gift, to behave like it's an achievement is not right.
Woody Allen