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I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Think
Thinking
Pays
Travel
Crime
Pay
Hours
Good
More quotes by Woody Allen
I'm very old-fashioned. I believe that people should stay married for life, like pigeons and Catholics.
Woody Allen
I don't like theatrical actors and actresses. I like people that talk like real human beings.
Woody Allen
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Woody Allen
The dictatorship is shut up, democracy is always concerned.
Woody Allen
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
Woody Allen
If you pursue the other woman, it's a losing situation and it's not good for your relationship or your marriage. If your marriage is open and you're allowed to, that's no good either. There's no way, really in the end, to be happy unless you get very lucky.
Woody Allen
Yes, but the difference is that when you're dead and somebody yells, 'Everybody up, it's morning,' it's very hard to find your slippers.
Woody Allen
My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make films.
Woody Allen
What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
Woody Allen
Rather than live on in the hearts and minds of my fellow man, I would rather live on in my apartment.
Woody Allen
In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and someone to actually show up and do the revolting. Dress is usually casual and both parties may be flexible about time and place, but if either faction fails to attend, the whole enterprise is likely to come off badly.
Woody Allen
You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.
Woody Allen
Problems are like toilet paper. You pull on one and ten more come.
Woody Allen
My Lord, my Lord! What hath Thou done lately?
Woody Allen
One man starving puts a crimp in my evening.
Woody Allen
I can't do anything to death, doctor's orders.
Woody Allen
I always write the same way. I always write with a yellow pad and a ballpoint pen on my bed. And then I go and type it up afterwards. I've always done that. Those things become habitual.
Woody Allen
Whosoever loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
Woody Allen
When I started out, I was a television writer, and we wrote a television show that was on live every week. And you didn't have the luxury of coming in and waiting to be inspired. You came in and you had to write. And you wrote, because it was going to be live on the air. So I can do that.
Woody Allen
The audience is making the film and not the film-maker.
Woody Allen
