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If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Atheism
Dying
Hope
Death
Good
Witty
Humorous
Excuse
Exists

More quotes by Woody Allen

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There's something about my films they're informed by my sensibility. I have the same preoccupations, the same interests... there's just something in the nuance, and so you always know it's a film of mine whether I sign my name to it or not.
Woody Allen
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My father owned a small piece of land. He carried it with him wherever he went.
Woody Allen
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I idolized Superman when I was younger. I thought he and I had a lot in common. He was always going into phonebooths and taking off all his clothes.
Woody Allen
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The curtain rises on a vast primitive wasteland, not unlike certain parts of New jersey.
Woody Allen
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I've been lucky because my films have consistently made a profit, almost all of them have made a profit. Never a huge profit, but nobody gets hurt. And therefore I get a lot of freedom.
Woody Allen
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If you meet somebody and are attracted to someone, and the exquisite neurons in your brain and her brain intermesh properly, then things can be wonderful. It's not like homework. You don't have to work at the relationship.
Woody Allen
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Comedians have a tendency to have a limited range, they tend to do one thing and do it very well, but it's limited.
Woody Allen
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You can't ride two horses with one behind.
Woody Allen
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Over the years I've never written or made movies about political themes 'cause while they do have current critical importance, in the large, large scheme of things, only the big questions matter and the answers to those big questions are very, very depressing.
Woody Allen
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I'm in show business. I'm not like a poor factory worker who'd been laid off.
Woody Allen
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I said this to my daughter, if you don't practice the guitar, when you get older you wouldn't be able to play it. It's that simple. If you want to play the guitar, you put a half hour in everyday, but you have to do it.
Woody Allen
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I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
Woody Allen
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My Lord, my Lord! What hath Thou done lately?
Woody Allen
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A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
Woody Allen
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The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
Woody Allen
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One of the wonderful things about making a film of any genre is that you have dialogue. You can take up a position. If you want to say something about your position, you can just say it. You don't have to spend massive amounts of screen time.
Woody Allen
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You look up after many years and you find that a film has become a classic because it's meaningful to people and alive, decade after decade.
Woody Allen
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The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.
Woody Allen
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The only love that lasts is unrequited love.
Woody Allen
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I sued American Apparel because they calculatingly took my name, my likeness and image and used them publicly to promote their business.
Woody Allen