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In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Life
Orgasm
Backwards
Finish
Dead
Start
Next
Live
More quotes by Woody Allen
I, interestingly, had dated a woman in the Eisenhower Administration briefly, and it was ironic to me 'cause I was trying to do toher what Eisenhower has been doing to the country for the last eight years.
Woody Allen
When a film is reviled, you open a film and people say Oh, it's the stupidest thing, it's the worst movie. You think: oh, nobody's going to ever speak to you again. But, it doesn't happen. Nobody cares. You know, they read it and they say Oh, they hated your film. You care, at the time. But they don't. Nobody else cares.
Woody Allen
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
Woody Allen
Let's say there was no terrorism whatsoever and we were all very nice to one another and we were all kind, we still would be faced with an extremely cruel and hostile universe and existence and so I'm a great pessimist and I feel that it's impossible really to be happy, and that the best you can hope for is to be distracted.
Woody Allen
The meaning of life is that nobody knows the meaning of life.
Woody Allen
People always tease me. They say, look at you, you went for so much psychoanalysis and you're so neurotic, you wind up marrying a girl so much younger than you.
Woody Allen
I'm a terrible musician. While the band members are great, I'm tolerated and affectionately regarded because I do movies, but if I had to make my living as a musician I would starve. I'm like a Sunday tennis player.
Woody Allen
Not think of death as an end, but think of it more as a very effective way of cutting down on your expenses.
Woody Allen
When I'm not working, I think and I think when I get depressed.
Woody Allen
I have one last request. Don't use embalming fluid on me I want to be stuffed with crab meat.
Woody Allen
I don't know what the hell I'm doing here. I'm 237 years old, I should be collecting social security.
Woody Allen
Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
Woody Allen
What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause!
Woody Allen
There's something about my films they're informed by my sensibility. I have the same preoccupations, the same interests... there's just something in the nuance, and so you always know it's a film of mine whether I sign my name to it or not.
Woody Allen
In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
Woody Allen
The dictatorship is shut up, democracy is always concerned.
Woody Allen
New York is my home and I have a particular fondness for it. I think it's a place where you can generate any kind of story wonderfully. But I also would be very happy to make a film in Paris or Rome.
Woody Allen
You are always a comedian by default. You are this way because you've been forced to be this way, but it is better to be the hero. So if you can be a persona, the great one of my lifetime of course was and is Marlon Brando.
Woody Allen
The French make two mistakes about me. They think I'm an intellectual because I wear these glasses and they think I'm an artist because my films lose money.
Woody Allen
I work all the time because it's a great distraction and it keeps me from sitting home and obsessing morbidly.
Woody Allen