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In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Live
Life
Orgasm
Backwards
Finish
Dead
Start
Next
More quotes by Woody Allen
What advice would I give the average homeowner to protect himself against burglars? Well, the first thing is to keep a light on in the house when you go out. It must be at least a sixty-watt bulb anything less and the burglar will ransack the house, out of contempt for the wattage.
Woody Allen
I've always had an easy time directing actors because I always hire ones that are great before I get my hands on them.
Woody Allen
I am two with nature.
Woody Allen
The dictatorship is shut up, democracy is always concerned.
Woody Allen
Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
Woody Allen
Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you can play the piano.
Woody Allen
I don't believe in competition for artistic things. I just like the atmosphere of the Cannes festival. I don't want to win anything or lose anything.
Woody Allen
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Woody Allen
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
Woody Allen
That (sex) was the most fun I ever had without laughing.
Woody Allen
I wish my parents had raised me in Manhattan because I think it's the greatest thing you can do for a kid is to raise them in New York City. I can see this with my own children.
Woody Allen
As I got more confident, I was able to let actors improvise, and do long takes. It's 10%, 5% you learn and experience. The rest you just have or you don't have.
Woody Allen
My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
Woody Allen
Regarding love what can you say? It's not the quantity of your sexual relations that counts. It's the quality. On the other hand if the quantity drops below once every eight months, I would definitely look into it.
Woody Allen
If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
Woody Allen
I'm twelve years old. I run into a synagogue. I ask the rabbi the meaning of life. He tells me the meaning of life but he tells it to me in Hebrew. I don't understand Hebrew. Then he wants to charge me $600 for Hebrew lessons.
Woody Allen
I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.
Woody Allen
What' s the matter with me? Why can't I be cool?
Woody Allen
When you are dead, it is hard to find the light switch.
Woody Allen
But what if everyone in the world behaved like me and came here and shot Brisseau through the ear? What a mess! And of course we'd need valet parking.
Woody Allen
