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In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Start
Next
Live
Life
Orgasm
Backwards
Finish
Dead

More quotes by Woody Allen

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A: Socrates is a man. B: All men are mortal. C: All men are Socrates.
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I've been escaping my whole life. Since I was a little child, I escaped into the movies on the other side as an audience member. I escaped by going into the movies and sitting in the movies all day long.
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If you aren't failing every now and then, you're probably playing it too safe.
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I was in analysis for years because of a traumatic childhood I was breast-fed through falsies.
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What I do know about physics is that to a man standing on the shore, time passes quicker than to a man on a boat - especially if the man on the boat is with his wife.
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All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.
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I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
Woody Allen
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Doing abominations is against the law, particularly if the abominations are done while wearing a lobster bib.
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Don't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.
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I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics.
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One of the interesting things is, the most gifted people, the biggest people, have no problem taking small roles.
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To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer. Not to love is to suffer.
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I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.
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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen I want to live on in my apartment.
Woody Allen
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Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
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The whole thrust of science and the medical profession is to try and prevent it from happening, to try to prolong life, to keep you from dying, to keep you from getting older, to rejuvenate you. I mean, that's everybody's wish. The fountain of youth is everybody's sought-after thing.
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There is always the possibility that people will change. Real change is more rare. You are who you are at a certain age in life you are pretty much a variation of that your whole life. It's conceivable that you will change but it's not likely.
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There is no justice, there is no rational structure to it [life]. That is just the way it is, and each person figures out some way to cope.
Woody Allen
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Someday the lion is going to lie down with the lamb, but the lamb isn't going to get much sleep.
Woody Allen
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What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?
Woody Allen