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I don't know what I'm doing, but my incompetence has never stopped my enthusiasm.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Never
Incompetence
Stopped
Enthusiasm
More quotes by Woody Allen
I have a great admiration for English actors and actresses and have used them at every opportunity over the years, but now I won't have to import them to New York.
Woody Allen
In fact, when they wake up in the morning, they're Jack Nicholson or Robert De Niro or Josh Brolin. And it's built-in, but they think it's all this other stuff. But it's not. They'd be great if they didn't think about their part or if they did think about it.
Woody Allen
I think if you have a comic perspective, almost anything that happens you tend to put through a comic filter. It's a way of coping in the short term, but has no long term effect and requires constant, endless renewal. Hence people talk of comics who are always on. It's like constantly drugging your sensibility so you can get by with less pain.
Woody Allen
I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.
Woody Allen
Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
Woody Allen
The only love that lasts is unrequited love.
Woody Allen
I'm a comedian. I make comic films and there are certain ideas that occur to me that are comic, with heavy, serious undertones. There are some ideas that are more frivolous to me. The next idea that could occur to me could be comedy about death and famine or something.
Woody Allen
I've gained no wisdom, no insight, no mellowing. I would make all the same mistakes again, today.
Woody Allen
Real software engineers don't debug programs, they verify correctness. This process doesn't necessarily involve execution of anything on a computer, except perhaps a Correctness Verification Aid package. Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
Woody Allen
In order to be successful, all you've got to do is show up 80 percent of the time.
Woody Allen
Is there a separation between body and mind, and if so which is it better to have?
Woody Allen
There is always the possibility that people will change. Real change is more rare. You are who you are at a certain age in life you are pretty much a variation of that your whole life. It's conceivable that you will change but it's not likely.
Woody Allen
Change is almost always negative. Things degenerate.
Woody Allen
Dying is like making love, except you don't get naseous afterwards.
Woody Allen
People say that death is a part of life and there must be something to it, but I just see it as bad news and I want everybody to stop sugarcoating it.
Woody Allen
How wrong Emily Dickinson was! Hope is not the thing with feathers. The thing with feathers has turned out to be my nephew. I must take him to a specialist in Zurich.
Woody Allen
Is old age really so terrible? Not if you've brushed your teeth faithfully.
Woody Allen
Sometimes the critics will like a film, and the public doesn't come. Sometimes the critics won't like the film, and the public will come. It's completely spontaneous. It's a hazard.
Woody Allen
Existence for eternity could get a little boring... especially towards the end.
Woody Allen
The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily laying down.
Woody Allen
