Quote

The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind -- a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Idea
Fleeting
House
Uncomfortable
Thought
Particularly
Ideas
Laughter
Made
Merely
Mind
Pretty
Funny
Universe
Payment

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When I am in New York, I want to be in Europe, and when I am in Europe, I want to be in New York.
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Some men are heterosexual and some men are bisexual and some men don't think about sex at all ... you know, they become lawyers.
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There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
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I work all the time because it's a great distraction and it keeps me from sitting home and obsessing morbidly.
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I came home one night, some month ago, and I went to the closet in my bedroom...and a moth ate my sports jacket. He was laying on the floor, nauseous, y'know.
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My relationship with American audiences is the exact same as it always has been. They never came to see my films, and they don't come now.
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It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
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By now they had mastered my own language, but they still made simple mistakes, like using 'hermeneutics,' when they meant 'heuristic'.
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My brain? It's my second favorite organ!
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More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
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I was a nervous child, I was a bedwetter. I used to sleep with an electric blanket and I was constantly electrocuting myself.
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. . . they confuse everything I do with my life.
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Me sitting down for dinner with Ingmar Bergman felt like a house painter sitting down with Picasso.
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I prefer the magic to reality, and have since I was 5 years old. Hopefully, I can continue to make films and constantly escape into them.
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I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
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I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
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If I could change the structure of existence I would do it. I could see a better way to live for everybody.
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I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.
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When you write the script, you're home in a room by yourself, and you're writing, and there's no connection with the real performing world. So you get a lot of things wrong and make a lot of mistakes and make a lot of bad choices.
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What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn't for certain people.
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