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Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Romantic
Weak
Word
Two
Feel
Feels
Love

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I am two with nature.
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I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
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I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
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I do believe that reality is dreadful and that you are forced to choose it in the end or go crazy, but that it kills you.
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In every generation there are a few people who are authentically funny. The cosmetics change. You may not be able to articulate it, and you may laugh at them and get a certain amount of enjoyment. But when you're asleep at night, and you wake up at 3 in the morning, and you're alone in your bed, you know who's really funny.
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The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.
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I had a mad impulse to throw you down on the lunar surface and commit interstellar perversion with you.
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Don't think of death as an ending. Think of it as a really effective way of cutting down your expenses.
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I don't rely on anybody except my own judgment. I don't get much input. I don't know if that's helped me or if I would be better off if I did rely on someone.
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Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging.
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If you meet somebody and are attracted to someone, and the exquisite neurons in your brain and her brain intermesh properly, then things can be wonderful. It's not like homework. You don't have to work at the relationship.
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The true test of maturity is not how old a person is but how he reacts to awakening in the mid-town area in his shorts.
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Manute Bol is so skinny they save money on road trips. They just fax him from city to city.
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I'm not a big believer in the sense of Jews having a monopoly on comedy.
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Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat...college.
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Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!
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The whole concept of awards is silly. I cannot abide by the judgment of other people, because if you accept it when they say you deserve an award, then you have to accept it when they say you don't.
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Regarding love what can you say? It's not the quantity of your sexual relations that counts. It's the quality. On the other hand if the quantity drops below once every eight months, I would definitely look into it.
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