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It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Travel
Certainly
Humor
Blowing
Impossible
Desirable
Funny
Hats
Science
Humorous
Light
Faster
Keeps
More quotes by Woody Allen
Well, if I don't get at least 16 hours, I'm a basket case.
Woody Allen
This stuff tastes awful I could have made a fortune selling it in my health-food store.
Woody Allen
Then Job fell to his knees and cried to the Lord, Thine is the kingdom and the power and glory. Thou hast a good job. Don't blow it.
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Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
Woody Allen
And in all of Babylonia there was wailing and gnashing of teeth, 'til the prophets bade the multitudes get a grip on themselves and shape up.
Woody Allen
I never thought I was doing anyone a favour by bringing children into the world. With people as cruel to each other as they are, it's a terrible proposition. The best of lives are sad and tragic. The best of them. My general conclusion is that it's not a nice thing to do. The world doesn't need it. The kid doesn't need it.
Woody Allen
Science is an intellectual dead end, you know? It's a lot of little guys in tweed suits cutting up frogs on foundation grants.
Woody Allen
I don't get depressed I grow a tumor instead.
Woody Allen
The true test of maturity is not how old a person is but how he reacts to awakening in the mid-town area in his shorts.
Woody Allen
One of the wonderful things about making a film of any genre is that you have dialogue. You can take up a position. If you want to say something about your position, you can just say it. You don't have to spend massive amounts of screen time.
Woody Allen
God is either cruel or incompetent.
Woody Allen
At the trial Stubbs chose to act as his own lawyer, but a conflict over his fee led to ill feelings.
Woody Allen
There is no justice, there is no rational structure to it [life]. That is just the way it is, and each person figures out some way to cope.
Woody Allen
I love the rain - it washes memories off the sidewalk of life.
Woody Allen
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Woody Allen
I never knew what Amazon was. I've never seen any of those series, even on cable. I've never seen The Sopranos, or Mad Men. I'm out every night and when I come home, I watch the end of the baseball or basketball game, and there's Charlie Rose and I go to sleep.
Woody Allen
You're so good looking I can barely keep my eyes on the meter.
Woody Allen
I always thought that as long as man is mortal, he will never be relaxed.
Woody Allen
When a man is driving in a car and looks out the window and notices a woman with a great body, as he strains to check her face out, how does she know to keep turning so the back of her head is always toward him?
Woody Allen
Once the movie's over, there's not much point. When the thing is edited, mixed, and color-corrected, and you've finished it... In my case, I never read anything about it, I never think about it.
Woody Allen
