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It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Travel
Certainly
Humor
Blowing
Impossible
Desirable
Funny
Hats
Science
Humorous
Light
Faster
Keeps
More quotes by Woody Allen
When I am in New York, I want to be in Europe, and when I am in Europe, I want to be in New York.
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My father owned a small piece of land. He carried it with him wherever he went.
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The most important words in the English language are not 'I love you' but 'it's benign.'
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Showing up is 80 percent of life.
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There are two important things in the world, the first is sex. The other isn't all that important.
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Human beings are divided into mind and body. The mind embraces all the nobler aspirations, like poetry and philosophy, but the body has all the fun.
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Real software engineers don't debug programs, they verify correctness. This process doesn't necessarily involve execution of anything on a computer, except perhaps a Correctness Verification Aid package. Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
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Let's say there was a burning building and you could rush in and you could save only one thing: either the last known copy of Shakespeare's plays or some anonymous human being. What would you do?
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I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.
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Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!
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Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat...college.
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As a boy, I was ashamed to wear glasses. I memorized the eye chart, and then on the test they asked essay questions.
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My analyst warned me, but you were so beautiful I got another analyst.
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Relationships are really what interest me the most. And I think, in the end, they interest most people the most. Even when you read Tolstoy or something, basically they're about man and woman relationships.
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Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
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Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs.
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It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
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The process of making films is so technically demanding that it's a distraction. You don't spend your time thinking about the philosophical content, which is often very depressing.
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If you're not failing, you're not trying anything.
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I see the glass half full...but of poison.
Woody Allen
