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Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Divorce
Bed
Thinks
Water
Thinking
Pervert
Drank
More quotes by Woody Allen
I'm really impotent against the overwhelming bleakness of the universe and the only thing I can do is my little gift [filmmaking] and do it the best I can, [...] which is cold comfort.
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When you are dead, it is hard to find the light switch.
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Yes, but the difference is that when you're dead and somebody yells, 'Everybody up, it's morning,' it's very hard to find your slippers.
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I'm a nice person! I have healthy life drives and goals! I don't drink, I don't smoke. I would never force myself sexually on a blind person!
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I'd always wanted to be a dramatic. Comedy comes more naturally to me. I can do it with more facility. So I feel more comfortable with it.
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What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
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Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
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Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.
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Heaven knows, we all make mistakes. That's life - and chess.
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Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love -- the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters.
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Reality may not be the best of all possible worlds, but it's still the only place where you can get a decent steak.
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If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
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Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun either.
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When you work from city to city or country to country, you work the same way the working method is the same.
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The meaning of life is that nobody knows the meaning of life.
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I never ever see a film of mine after I release it to the public. I see it when I shoot it in my dailies and while I'm editing it, re-editing it and reshooting it and all that. By the time it's finished I never want to see it again.
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Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
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If you are not failing now and again, its a sign you are not doing anything very innovative
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My parents stayed together for forty years. But that was out of spite.
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You are much more dependent on luck than you think. People say if you want to have a good relationship, you have to work at it. But you never hear it about anything you really like, about sailing or going to soccer games.
Woody Allen
