Quote

Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.

Woody Allen

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Drank
Divorce
Bed
Thinks
Water
Thinking
Pervert

More quotes by Woody Allen

Image
Even if God exists, he's done such a terrible job, it's a wonder people don't get together and file a class action suit against him.
Woody Allen
Image
We knew the front door was always left open, but we broke in just to keep in practice. Doxy turned all the Washburn family photos to the wall so there wouldn't be any witnesses.
Woody Allen
Image
Men would make love with any number of women ... even total strangers, while females were selective. They were catering to the demands of one small egg. While males had millions of frantic sperms screaming: Let us out, let us out!.
Woody Allen
Image
The whole thrust of science and the medical profession is to try and prevent it from happening, to try to prolong life, to keep you from dying, to keep you from getting older, to rejuvenate you. I mean, that's everybody's wish. The fountain of youth is everybody's sought-after thing.
Woody Allen
Image
I prefer the magic to reality, and have since I was 5 years old. Hopefully, I can continue to make films and constantly escape into them.
Woody Allen
Image
And my parents finally realize I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room.
Woody Allen
Image
I have no regard for that kind of ceremony. I just don't think they know what they're doing. When you see who wins those things-or who doesn't win them-you can see how meaningless this Oscar thing is.
Woody Allen
Image
This sounds so bleak when I say it, but we need some delusions to keep us going. And the people who successfully delude themselves seem happier than the people who can't.
Woody Allen
Image
My brain? It's my second favorite organ!
Woody Allen
Image
Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.
Woody Allen
Image
My grammy never gave gifts, you know. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.
Woody Allen
Image
My grandfather had a wonderful funeral... On the buffet table there was a replica of the deceased in potato salad.
Woody Allen
Image
When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl - she wanted a divorce.
Woody Allen
Image
... years of insanity have made this guy crazy!
Woody Allen
Image
People make films for different reasons. For money. Or, they make them because something in them demands artistic expression. I do it because I enjoy the work.
Woody Allen
Image
My wife is immature. Whenever I take a bath, she sinks my boats.
Woody Allen
Image
Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat...college.
Woody Allen
Image
Show business is dog eat dog. It's worse than dog eat dog. It's dog doesn't return dog's phone calls.
Woody Allen
Image
I feel about New York as a child whose father is a bank robber. Not perfect, but I still love him.
Woody Allen
Image
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
Woody Allen