Quote

I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Life
Like
Pigeons
People
Catholics
Mate
Mates
Catholic
Ought
Believe

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I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
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The chief problem about death ... is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought.
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If I just got up in the morning and had no place to go and was retired or something, I would be sitting there and be thinking, Gee, what is the purpose of life? Why are we all finite? Why do we get old and die? Is there nothing out there? Why is it so tragic? Why do our loved ones perish? Why do we generate? Who wants to think about that stuff
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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen I want to live on in my apartment.
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It has become harder and harder in the United States to make films unhampered by outside influences. I've always been able to steer clear of that and keep the business people out of my hair completely.
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I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.
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If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's fingertips.
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When I was a young man, my friends and I and all of us in New York were very influenced by French cinema. French cinema played an enormous influence on those of us who wanted to be filmmakers.
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See, I will always have this penchant for what I call kamikaze women. I call them kamikazes because they, you know they crash their plane, they're self-destructive. But they crash into you, and you die along with them.
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I always felt that the problems of the world would never ever be solved until people came to terms with the deeper issues [spiritual] - that there would be an aimless reshuffling of world leaders and governments and programs.
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In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.
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The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5' 7, it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.
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When you start putting a higher value on works of art than people, you’re forfeiting your humanity.
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Man cannot live by bread alone. Every once in awhile he needs a salad.
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I, interestingly, had dated a woman in the Eisenhower Administration briefly, and it was ironic to me 'cause I was trying to do toher what Eisenhower has been doing to the country for the last eight years.
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People always ask me, Do you ever think you'll wake up one morning and not be funny? That thought would never occur to me--it's an odd thought and not realistic. Because funny and me are not separate. We're one.
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Paranoia is knowing all the facts.
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Rather than live on in the hearts and minds of my fellow man, I would rather live on in my apartment.
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Those modern analysts, they charge so much! In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks he would treat you and press your pants. For fifteen marks Freud would let you treat him - that included a choice of any two vegetables.
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I think that the tendency for most people is to fall back on a comic interpretation of things because things are so sad, so terrible. If you didn't laugh you'd kill yourself. But the truth of the matter is that existence in general is very very tragic, very very sad, very brutal and very unhappy.
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