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I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
People
Catholics
Mate
Mates
Catholic
Ought
Believe
Life
Like
Pigeons

More quotes by Woody Allen

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My films are misinterpreted all the time. I don't mind that. Everybody's films are misinterpreted. But there's no malice or stupidity in the people that misinterpret them. You know what you do, but someone else sees it, and they want to talk about it or write about it, and so they misinterpret them.
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Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
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I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you take two negative points?
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For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.
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I don't know what I'm doing, but my incompetence has never stopped my enthusiasm.
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It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
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Sentence structure is innate, but whining is acquired.
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In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and someone to actually show up and do the revolting. Dress is usually casual and both parties may be flexible about time and place, but if either faction fails to attend, the whole enterprise is likely to come off badly.
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It's important to control yourself because life gets too complicated if you don't, but the impulse is often there for people. Some say society should be more open. That doesn't work either.
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Everyone wants to get out of living where they're living now, because life is a pretty tough proposition and not much fun. But when you think back to earlier times, you only extrapolate the nice things.
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In the shower, with the hot water coming down, you've left the real world behind, and very frequently things open up for you. It's the change of venue, the unblocking the attempt to force the ideas that's crippling you when you're trying to write.
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None of the arts are any good unless you really are great at them.
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In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.
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I've always believed that thoughtful people don't really take the tabloids seriously. They're basically a form of entertainment. I enjoy them as much as the next New Yorker.
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I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody's.
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I don't believe in competition for artistic things. I just like the atmosphere of the Cannes festival. I don't want to win anything or lose anything.
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People always ask me, Do you ever think you'll wake up one morning and not be funny? That thought would never occur to me--it's an odd thought and not realistic. Because funny and me are not separate. We're one.
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Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.
Woody Allen
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All the crap they tell you about... getting joy and having a kind of wisdom in your golden years - it's all tripe.
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Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
Woody Allen