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We laughed over it, and Hemingway punched me in the mouth.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Punched
Hemingway
Laughed
Mouth
Mouths
More quotes by Woody Allen
You're so good looking I can barely keep my eyes on the meter.
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They were doing the Dying Swan at the ballet. And there was a rumor that some bookmarkers had drifted into town from upstate New York and that they had fixed the bullet. There was a lot of money bet on the swan to live.
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If you are not failing now and again, its a sign you are not doing anything very innovative
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The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.
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One filmmaker makes films that are deep, intellectual, profound and confrontational. And the other one makes purely vacuous, escapist films. I'm not sure the one who makes escapist films is making a poorer contribution than the one who makes the deeper films.
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Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.
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It's a wonderful thing to be able to create your own world whenever you want to.
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Is old age really so terrible? Not if you've brushed your teeth faithfully.
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Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!
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In life, one is entitled to a side dish of either coleslaw or potato salad, and the choice must be made in terror, with the knowledge that not only is our time on earth limited but most kitchens close at ten.
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I came home one night, some month ago, and I went to the closet in my bedroom...and a moth ate my sports jacket. He was laying on the floor, nauseous, y'know.
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Do I believe in God? I did until Mother's accident. She fell on some meat loaf and it penetrated her spleen.
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It's funny. Maria Elena and I, we are meant for each other and not meant for each other, it's a contradiction.
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I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.
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Some men are heterosexual and some men are bisexual and some men don't think about sex at all ... you know, they become lawyers.
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I was the captain of the latent paranoid softball team. We used to play all the neurotics on sunday morning. Nailbiters against the bedwetters, and if you've never seen neurotics play softball, it's really funny. I used to steal second base, and feel guilty and go back.
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My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
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The key point about a demonstration is that it must be seen. Hence the term demonstration. If a person demonstrates privately in his own home, this is not technically a demonstration but merely acting silly or behaving like an ass.
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I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
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How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
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