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We laughed over it, and Hemingway punched me in the mouth.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Mouth
Mouths
Punched
Hemingway
Laughed
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There are worse things than death. Many of them playing at a theater near you.
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Many people who get a lot of money are willing to work with me for no money. This is true.
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I can levitate birds. No one cares.
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Some people want to achieve immortality through their works or their descendants. I prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.
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I recently turned 60. Practically a third of my life is over.
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When I first started, there were writers that I looked up to that I felt very influenced by and very respectful toward their work and their opinion of my work.
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I don't want to live forever through my work. I want to live forever by not dying.
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If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
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If I could change the structure of existence I would do it. I could see a better way to live for everybody.
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I don't know enough to be incompetent.
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[An audience conditioned by a lifetime of television-watching is so corrupted that] their standards have been systematically lowered over the years. These guys sit in front of their sets and the gamma rays eat the white cells of their brains out!
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Am I my brother's keeper? Yes. Interestingly, in my case, I share that honor with the Prospect Park Zoo.
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I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women have told me over the years that it is very, very important to them.
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After 60, all of us belong to the weaker sex.
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Until you've been kissed on a rainy Parisian afternoon - you've never been kissed.
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And my parents finally realize I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room.
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Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
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Someday the lion is going to lie down with the lamb, but the lamb isn't going to get much sleep.
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In the shower, with the hot water coming down, you've left the real world behind, and very frequently things open up for you. It's the change of venue, the unblocking the attempt to force the ideas that's crippling you when you're trying to write.
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Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue.
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