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We laughed over it, and Hemingway punched me in the mouth.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Punched
Hemingway
Laughed
Mouth
Mouths
More quotes by Woody Allen
I don't mind dying... as long as I don't have to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen
The process of making films is so technically demanding that it's a distraction. You don't spend your time thinking about the philosophical content, which is often very depressing.
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I keep getting more and more ambitious. Over the years, to some degree, in some areas, I feel I've grown. In some areas, I made a fool of myself. In some areas, I think I can still do some funny things.
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Eternity is really long, especially near the end.
Woody Allen
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
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Side Effects Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on the weekend. Woody Allen Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
Woody Allen
I was in analysis. I was suicidal. As a matter of fact, I would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian and if you kill yourself they make you pay for the sessions you miss.
Woody Allen
Sentence structure is innate, but whining is acquired.
Woody Allen
I don't want to live forever through my work. I want to live forever by not dying.
Woody Allen
My films are a form of psychoanalysis, except that it is I who am paid, which changes everything.
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What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn't for certain people.
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Who's the bigger idiot, the idiot or the idiot who gets fooled by the idiot?
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Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
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The meaning of life is that nobody knows the meaning of life.
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I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
Woody Allen
Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could not blink my eyes in unison. — If The Impressionists Had Been Dentists
Woody Allen
Regarding love what can you say? It's not the quantity of your sexual relations that counts. It's the quality. On the other hand if the quantity drops below once every eight months, I would definitely look into it.
Woody Allen
Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.
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I think it's my job or the artist's job, to try and find some solution or some reason to accept things. But given the grimmest reality, I feel the grimmest facts are the real facts, the true facts: that you're born, you die, you suffer, it's to no purpose, and you're gone forever, ever, ever, and that's it.
Woody Allen
The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.
Woody Allen
